18. Hot mess sister
My sister and her husband visited for a week. They actually stayed at our parents’ house, but were at my house (I live next door) during the days and evenings the majority of the time. My brother-in-law was a punk-ass little good-for-nothing bitch.
My husband was out of work at the time, so things were kind of tight. My dad had given him a case of beer for helping out with something or other, so he was drinking them sparingly to make them last. BIL helped himself and finished off the case, except for 2 my husband managed to hide, promising to buy more.
They also bummed my husband’s cigarettes all day, every day, promising to buy more. BIL complained that they were ultra-lights and that it took 3 or 4 to get the buzz a regular one gave him. When my husband finally got tired of this, he hid his packs of cigs and rolled some loose tobacco to offer when they wanted cigarettes. BIL took one puff and threw it on the ground and stomped it and complained that it tasted nasty.
We were having a combo 4th of July/BIL birthday cookout. BIL said he was going to buy steaks for everyone. My mom took him shopping, he saw the price of steaks and decided to buy himself a steak and burgers for everyone else. My mom ended up buying everyone steaks. She got sirloins, but got my dad a ribeye. When the steaks were cooking, BIL insisted that he get the ribeye and pitched a bitch-fit when we wouldn’t give it to him.
Also at this cookout, my husband had brought the last 2 of the previously mentioned beers and put them at the bottom of the cooler. I had bought a cheaper brand of beer for him to share. Next thing we know, BIL is drinking the last “good” beer, complaining that the other was cheap and tasted nasty.
One morning, mom made country ham and biscuits for breakfast. There was enough for everyone to have a decent sized serving. BIL took about half the ham and piled it on a biscuit, which left about one little slice each for everyone else.
Then he stole a bottle of Percs out of my mom and dad’s medicine cabinet.
He also asked if we had pills for sale (we don’t get into shit like that) IN FRONT OF OUR KIDS, who were about 10 and 12 at the time.
Of course, he never bothered to buy more beer/cigarettes/groceries. But he did buy a $900 rifle before they went home.
I’m so glad she left him finally. But then she let the next boyfriend move in with her after a few weeks of dating, so I’m just waiting for the next disaster.
19. One look is all it took
I was having a small social gathering in my house, few good friends and a couple of their friends. I knew we’d all end up drunk so I put my expensive guitar in its hard case and hid it my cupboard.
Anyway a while later one of my friends drunk-ass friends somehow discovers it, runs in the living room swinging it about pretending to be a rock star of sorts knocking the head stock and other parts of the body off the wall. Unintentionally of course, he was just a drunken arsehole. But still, the next day I realised there was dents, missing chips of paint and scratches all over it.Never saw him again after that.
