28. This is how you get a butt puppet

One night when I was about 7 years old, my dad, brothers and sisters and I were sitting on the floor laughing and joking and having a good time. My dad, the dad troll he is, seizes this light-hearted family moment to talk about something serious.

He told us how spectacular it is that if you talk into someone’s butthole, and the person who’s butthole is getting spoken into mouths the words, it’s as if they were the ones talking! My sisters were giggling and sniggering, obviously they knew it was a joke… Meanwhile my brother and I looked straight at each other in pure amazement and ran up to our room…

A few minutes later, my dad came up to say goodnight (he thought we were going to bed), instead, he walked in on me talking into my brother’s bare asshole like a scene from Clutch Cargo and my brother soundlessly mouthing words with enthusiasm.

Oh god.. my dad hit the floor in complete hysterics, absolutely insane uncontrollable orgasmic laughter.. He was literally laughing to the point of pain for minutes. Then the rest of my family runs up the stairs to see what the commotion is about then they realized we tried that obvious bullshit! So then my brother and I just sat there watching our family fall over themselves pointing and laughing at us.

That’s about it, I’m 20 now and still haven’t lived that one down. It’s my dad’s favorite story to tell at parties. – hamisdie