When I was a teenager, I was driving home from an hour and a half away in the wee hours of the morning. I was on the interstate going about 80 mph, and fell asleep at the wheel. All of a sudden, my eyes jumped open, and I saw a shooting star in the sky right in front of my car, the brightest one I have ever seen. Immediately I was wide awake, and about to slam right into a tree. I jerked the wheel to get back on the road, and all was fine. I never fell asleep driving again…
I was out at a local bar one sunday night, and it was basically empty. I was single and alone, and there were only a couple old guys at the bar, who left at about 10pm. I would have left too, as the only other person, the bartender was too busy cleaning the kitchen to talk to me, but I was only about 1 pint into a pitcher so I stayed.
I’m kind of a dork, and remember wearing pants that were a bit too short. I was minding my own business, when I felt a draft at my ankles. I looked up and there was a smoking hot blonde woman in a red dress walking in with a whisp of the thick fog from the street. She was way to hot to be from a normal town, let alone be the kind of woman who would hang around a boring bar like this. I was nervous to talk to her, but felt like it would be more awkward to be the only other person at the bar and not say anything. I got the bartender’s attention and bought her a drink. She smiled and asked me what I was doing there alone. I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t have anyone to go to the bar with me, so I told her that my friends from out of town were going to meet me, but decided not to because the roads were too foggy.
As the night went on, my pitcher grew empty and I could hardly believe that we had held a conversation so long. I guess the liquid courage really kept me from being the nervous wreck I usually am, that is until she pulled me close. She lead me into a lounge area in a separate room and threw me on the couch, sliding her panties out from under her skirt. She wouldn’t let me protest, and she wasn’t going to slow down, but then I had no objections. She rode me for longer than I can remember, and then we stumbled out of the bar, giggling like we were in high school. I said, “Man that was just what I needed!” and she looked into my eyes, and said “I still need something more.” I paused, “Uh yeah, what?” She leaned in close and whispered softly, “About tree-fiddy.” It was at that moment that I realized that this hot blonde was actually a 3-story monster from the paleolithic era.
To this day I still have no idea what happened.