25 Ways To Accidentally Sabotage Your Relationship Before It Has The Chance To Begin

Allegra Messina
Allegra Messina

1.

Expect your partner to have their mind made up about you and be 100% invested in the relationship before they’ve had the time to properly get to know you.

2.

Expect your partner to relentlessly pursue you, but refuse to go out on any limbs to show them how much you want to be with them.

3.

Hold your partner responsible for ‘breaking down your walls’ or ‘teaching you to trust again’ because a past relationship – which they had no part in –jaded your views on love.

4.

Worry more about what kind of partner you deserve than what kind of partner your significant other deserves.

5.

Fantasize extensively about the relationship and then become frustrated with your partner when their behavior doesn’t match up to your fantasies.

6.

Enter into the relationship expecting to change your partner’s lifestyle, habits or views on love.

7.

Enter into the relationship expecting your partner to change your lifestyle, habits or views on love.

8.

Rearrange your entire life so that your sole priority is your partner.

9.

Fail to rearrange any part of your life to accommodate your partner as a priority.

10.

Stop spending time with friends and loved ones because you believe your partner is the only person you need.

11.

Stop spending time alone because you don’t consider it important to check in with yourself.

12.

Don’t bother to learn how your partner shows love. Assume that if they aren’t showing you affection in the exact way that you want to be shown it, they don’t care about you.

13.

Use passive-aggressiveness to communicate that you’re upset, rather than telling your partner outright what’s wrong.

14.

Refuse to bring up issues you have with the relationship because you don’t want to rock the boat.

15.

Assume that because you’re a nice person with good intentions, anything that goes wrong in the relationship automatically isn’t your fault.

16.

Make excuses for your partner’s bad behavior instead of addressing him or her directly about it.

17.

Make excuses for your own bad behavior instead of checking yourself and apologizing for it.

18.

Expect your relationship to fix everything you’re unhappy with in your life.

19.

Expect your relationship to fix everything your partner is unhappy with in his or her life.

20.

Obsess over whether this is your ‘forever relationship’ instead of letting things unfold naturally.

21.

Claim to not want a relationship, but expect your partner to prioritize you the way they would a boyfriend or girlfriend

22.

Date someone who claims to not want a relationship but expect them to treat you like they would a boyfriend or girlfriend.

23.

Make absolutely no specifications about what you want from the relationship, then become upset if it turns out you don’t want the same things.

24.

Expect the other person to change or make compromises for you, but refuse to change or make compromises for them.

25.

Never stop to consider the relationship from the other party’s point of view and consider the fact that you are just as capable as anyone else of being a toxic partner. TC mark

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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