If there’s anything we all know for sure, it’s that adulthood is the world’s greatest myth. No matter how many children you pop out, how many degrees you acquire or how many hand-embroidered tea towels you own, you always feel like a wee bit of a fraud as an adult. Luckily, creating the illusion that you have your life together is now easier than ever. Here are ten items that will make you seem infinitely more grown-up than you actually are.
Nothing says “I have my life FIGURED OUT” quite like homemade carbonated beverages. Being able to offer someone flavored soda water when they come over is basically like hanging a giant sign across your apartment that says, “I’ve won adulthood.” After all, you have time to worry about water quality. That’s some next-level adulting.
Sorry, who’s Justin Bieber again? You can’t remember because you’ve been too busy listening to classical music on the vintage record player that you exclusively use. Nobody has to know that you can actually get ‘Purpose’ as a vinyl… and that you have it stashed under your bed for your home-alone dance parties.
So you’d never be able to handle the responsibility of a pet or small human. But you can at least fake your ability to keep a plant alive, with the help of some cheerful artificial greenery. Heck yes you water that baby.