How To Tell If An ISTJ Likes You (As Told By 13 ISTJs)

ISTJs are known for being relatively formal and polite in most of their social interactions. As a result, it can be difficult to decipher when this type likes you as more than just a friend. Below, 13 ISTJs explain how they behave when they’re romantically interested in someone.
 Emmanuel Rosario
Emmanuel Rosario

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1. “When I like someone I pretty much will do whatever they want. Not because I don’t have a brain of my own, but because I value their interests and personality enough to let it affect me as a person. That is rare for me.”

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2. “As a female ISTJ, I don’t like making the first move or doing anything bold unless I’m absolutely sure you reciprocate the feelings first. I’m horrible at flirting so my by best attempt to show you that I like you is to place a few emojis in a text message and hope you’re bold enough to make the first move.”

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3. “When I’m interested in someone, I spend more time getting to know them. I’m not one to jump right into a relationship. I prefer to be friends first and to grow a relationship from there.”

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4. “I go out of my way to spend time with the people I’m interested in. I am willing to help with anything they need, even if it is an inconvenience to me. I also attempt to learn more about their interests so I can hold conversation with them. I am not big on obvious romantic hints, as I avoid putting myself out there without them making the first move.”

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5. “When I’m interested in someone, I become friends with them first and then I just tell them I’m interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. If they are interested back, then we can build something out of that. If they aren’t, then I move along. Straight to the point!”

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6. “I make time for them in my schedule and try my best to stay connected and to respond quickly to communications.”

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7. “Making time for the person in my schedule is probably the biggest sign that I like someone. Otherwise, I just go into ‘model citizen’ mode and try to be helpful/entertaining/knowledgeable, remember all of the person’s likes/dislikes/random facts about them, and try to keep track of which things I’m supposed to know because they’ve told me and which things I only know because I’ve Facebook-stalked them and all of their family members/close friends back to 2007. No one I’m interested in ever picks up my signals or considers me in a romantic way.”

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8. “When I like someone I don’t mind spending time with that person, even if it is small talk, or in a place/situation I would try to avoid. I am able to spend quite a lot of time with someone if I like them, which is strange because I usually prefer to spend time alone.”

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9. “When I like someone I follow them closely on Facebook. I will also be especially helpful, more flirtatious than usual and I may dress up a little more and try to keep myself in close proximity to them.”

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10. “I’m not always the most confident in person, so when I like someone I may try to strike up an online conversation that will get them laughing. From that point, I may initiate getting together if I suspect they like me as well. I usually will not make the first move unless I am very confident that the feeling is mutual.”

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11. “When I like someone I will often do small gestures for them that I wouldn’t normally do. I may offer to help them out with a problem they’re having trouble with or run a small errand on their behalf. Then I’ll wait to see how the person responds.”

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12. “As a female ISTJ, I always want the guy to make the first move. I am fairly traditional in that sense. So if I am interested in someone, I will show it by spending more time around them and making them a priority. From that point, I would hope that they would take the initiative if they were interested in me as well.”

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13. “A good indication that I like someone is if I am willing to spend a significant amount of one-on-one time around them. When I like someone I am very open to going out to get food or drinks with them, whereas normally I structure my time in a very specific way and am less open to regular social events. If I’m agreeing to spend that time around you (particularly if I have initiated it) and I’m opening up to you in conversation, it is almost always because I am interested in you as a potential romantic partner.”Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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