How To Tell If An ENFJ Likes You (As Told By 17 ENFJs)

"When I like someone, all I want to do is spend time with them."

Updated 11 months ago, January 16, 2024

Though this type is usually notoriously outgoing, ENFJs are known for behaving a little bit bashfully when they have a crush. Below, 17 ENFJs explain how you can decipher whether they like you as a friend or as something more.

1. “If I like someone I’ll prioritize spending time with you over…. everything. Eating, sleeping, doing my own stuff, even over spending time with other people! I’ll go out of my way to be there for you. I know this sounds a lot like what I do for everyone, so it can be hard to decipher. But go ahead and ask one of my closest girl friends for confirmation. I guarantee they’ll know.”

2. “I do little nice things for the people I like – like giving them a paper bird or a leaf or making a drawing (all of which have a hidden symbolic meaning of course). I’m also big on engaging in conversations with a lot of subtext.”

3. “If I like someone I’ll spend more time with them, invite them to things, and try to find times to talk to them, and plan events where we’ll have opportunities to hang out. I’ll listen to them and ask them questions. I’ll write them letters. Plan cool events for us. I will analyze every single interaction with them meticulously, and try to present myself in the way they want to see. When we’re talking, I’ll flirt and try to show interest, but I’ll also go out of my way to not seem too interested… I’ll try and keep our interactions subtle, but meaningful. I’ll remember almost everything you tell me, and try to help solve your problems. I’ll set aside time for you and schedule around you, which is darn rare, because I have a lot of people to take care of in my life and things to do.”

4. “When I like someone, all I want to do is spend time with them. I’m normally very good at making responsible decisions but that goes out the window when I like someone. I will do whatever it takes to spend more time with them, even if I have other responsibilities that should be taking precedent.”

5. “I try to start a deep and meaningful conversation, establish what they care about and try and form a strong connection, sending them TED talks and links to articles etc. Through establishing common ground I would then suggest activities to do that could be a date. I am insecure and scared of rejection and would therefore set everything up but leave the other person to then decide whether they want to make the first move.”

6. “I always show a lot of interest in people and am naturally flirtatious (that is, charming) in my demeanor – so the difference between how I am with a friend or acquaintance and someone I am interested in must come down to touch and eye contact. More of it. I’m also not afraid to say something (if we are on a date….not randomly). I’ve been told my eyes say it all.”

7. “If I’m interested in someone I spend time with them and ask them about themselves.”

8. “I show someone I like them by having open body language, loads of eye contact and lots of fun and laughter. Also just by making time to be there for them and spend time around them.”

9. “When I like someone I pay more attention to them in larger groups. I make time for them when other things are happening. I gesture a lot with smiling and touching. I support most of their statements and defend them in arguments. I stare them in the eye more than others around them. If I know the other party is interested, I will also flirt more heavily with said person. I will pay them compliments about their appearance and ideas.”

10. “If I like someone I just be friendly and helpful as usual, joke a bit more and hope it interests them enough to take notice.”

11. “To show someone I’m interested I talk to them a lot, try to find out their likes/ dislikes/ interests/ personal life and ask them out – though perhaps not explicitly at the start so I can gauge their interest. I may also say sweet things to them at times while taking jabs at them in the next moment.”

12. “How would someone know I like them? Instant overboard animation the moment the beloved comes into the room; instant moderate level of animation as soon as the beloved leaves. Oh, and don’t forget the furtive glances and barely contained blushes…”

13. “I cook for them. I’ll ask around to figure out their favorite foods and then surprise them with it whenever possible. I will also likely be totally silent around them besides saying ‘I made this for you’.”

14. “When I like someone I compliment them! I also go out of my way to show that I’m interested in their interests. And to ask questions about themselves.”

15. “It’s sort of impossible for me to hide my feelings, but if I’m really trying, I’ll just scheme and plan things that will bring us together. I’ll also go out of my way to do nice things for them and make them feel good.”

16. “I will start by saying I’m the most difficult person to read when I have a crush on you. I’m friendly with everybody, get along with just about anyone, and if you don’t know me that well, it might seem like I have a crush on you. I probably don’t. Watch for out of the ordinary behavior if anything. I’ll do everything I can to sit next to you whenever we’re at social things together. Even though I need some down time, I’ll sacrifice it in order to be somewhere I know you’ll be. But it’ll be hard for me to talk to you–so instead I’ll try to seem charming and funny with your close friends. When it’s just us, I’ll probably try to pick your brain and pry you open with some serious conversation–help you feel understood and validated. And if I trust you, I might tell you some stuff about me too.”

17. “If I like someone, I will:
(1) Flirt the hell out of them via giving flirty eyes and picking on them in a non-offensive way that makes them laugh.
(2) Connect with them on super depthy and interesting topics.
(3) Help them and be there for them at all times, whenever they need it.”