26 ENFPs Share The Ways In Which They Defy The ENFP Stereotype

1. “I hate the stereotype that ENFPs are shallow flirts! ENFPs are known for not following through in relationships, but I’ve never been in a relationship because I don’t want to be with someone I’m not absolutely sure about. And I’m loyal to a fault, so once I do commit, I’ll follow through with it.”

2. “I am not bouncy. I am quite measured and careful much of the time. Although I have plenty of energy and walk fast, think fast and I can talk fast, what comes out is sometimes more like an INTP’s distant reverie, and sometimes more direct and upbeat. From a young age I’ve consciously developed my ability to talk to people, and secretly berated my parents for not talking about things enough! I can certainly knock random ideas back and for at high speed, like a world class squash player, but I don’t get carried away on my own. I am always focused on, and listening to, the person I am talking to.”

3. “Routine is key for me. I find myself forming routines very quickly – for example, I’ll get into the habit of having the same thing for dinner on a Wednesday, or waking up at the same time everyday. I’ve had the same cereal for breakfast for the last 5 years.”

4. “I feel that I defy the stereotype of ENFPs being flighty, especially in friendships. As an ENFP myself, I get very disappointed by my NFP friends who often seem to disappear and aren’t there in the hard times. I guess I feel, if I’m an ENFP and I can be a faithful friend – why can’t other ENFPs?”

5. “I am way more introverted than the ‘extroverted’ label would indicate.”

6. “That whole stereotype that ENFPs have a need to please people around them? Nope, not for me. Yes, I’ll go along with something maybe because it’s something new and exciting and I don’t mind trying it, but that doesn’t mean I’m trying it to please someone. If someone says something that I don’t agree with, I won’t get mad. That’s their opinion and entitled to that, but that’s not about pleasing someone. It probably comes with age and experience. It’s my life and I live it however I please.”

7. “I am not at all afraid of commitment like the stereotype says.”

8. “I am always on the lookout for new ideas and get bored easily with everything EXCEPT my relationship. All I want – all I’ve ever wanted – is one man that will love me and that I can love and change with until we are old and grey. I also don’t like big parties. Hanging out with my four kids and my boyfriend is my ideal evening; we could do anything or nothing. They are all so amazing.”

9. “As a type 4 ENFP, I ruminate on my feelings more than my type 7 counterparts. I think I also tend to avoid working and being busy way more than other ENFPs, especially in the winter. I go into super lazy mode! I’ve definitely wondered if I’m an INFP, but at the end of the day, I talk waaaay too much to be introverted. When I’m not talking or being social, or when I’m forced to follow social conventions, I’m wishing I could be talking or socializing as usual. That’s how I know I’m an extrovert.”

10. “I’ve seen a lot of posts saying ENFPs are so over excitable to the point of being annoying or all over the place. While I can get excited about some things, it’s rarely in an ‘extra’ way. I am often complimented for being a very calm cool headed person. I can think of times when I’ve got annoyingly excited, but only with very close family or friends and it’s more of a rare occurrence for me!”

11. “I do not consider myself flaky. I love showing up for plans, I go to everything! Just I have a tendency to be about 5 minutes late to most things.”

12. “I don’t think the grass is greener on the other side when it comes to relationships. At all. When I’m in, I’m in for the long haul, and it takes me a long time to recover when the relationship is over.”

13. “I’m not flirty or very sociable. I’m actually very awkward around strangers, and hate when people flirt with me. I’d rather have someone random come to me to discuss the meaning of the universe than to have them flirt or do anything like that. I’m also super bossy and I love arguments! I often find myself in the middle of heated debates or fights.”

14. “I do not fall in love quickly or freely. I am a very cautious dater who moves at a snails pace. From what I’ve read, this is not the norm for free-spirited ENFP’s.”

15. “ENFPs do not hate structure. The right amount of structure makes us feel safe and grounded.”

16. “I have kept a steady job and have a well planned career. I’m responsible and good with money which many do not expect of an ENFP. I’m just using logic to follow my passions!”

17. ” I am not necessarily great at deep conversation. I’m not fluffy, I just don’t reveal all the layers too easily. It takes me a long time to trust people. So my conversations can actually be pretty disengaging. I’m also not unaware of my physical needs – I LOVE love food. In fact, I’m distracted easily by the tiniest twinge of hunger.”

18. “As an ENFP, I’m expected to be some uber happy person all the time, and yeah that may be true.. but by the same token I can be pretty critical, overly sarcastic, and pretty mean at times. I don’t know if it’s a gender thing, maybe males are just like that, but I can be pretty harsh towards people.”

19. “I can be extremely analytical and rational and I make very rational choices. Also, I think there is the assumption that all NFPs are super sweet, but I certainly have a sarcastic, judgmental and pessimistic side. People often think ‘she is soooo sweet and kind,’ but they don’t know what is really going on in the depths of my mind. I might be conflict averse, but I certainly feel the dark angry emotions and am not always this goddess of fun and light.”

20. “I like routine. I have a pretty set daily routine and I get thrown off and a bit irritable if it varies because of factors out of my control. I also need a fair amount of downtime, probably a day of limited obligations for every three normally busy days. In every other respect I fit the ENFP stereotype.”

21. “I’ve seen a lot of posts saying ENFPs are so over excitable to the point of being annoying or all over the place. While I can get excited about some things, it’s rarely in an ‘extra’ way. I am often complimented for being a very calm cool headed person. I can think of times when I’ve got annoyingly excited, but only with very close family or friends and it’s more of a rare occurrence for me!”

22. “I am Type-A (type awesome) and super organized. I have “systems” of doing tasks that I follow religiously.”

23. “There’s a stereotype that ENFP are flighty and bad at commitment. I’ve always taken my relationships very seriously and put a lot of time and effort into them. I might become bored with certain friendships but my best friends and partner I put my all into.”

24. “I am a hardcore planner! Granted, things can get shifted COMPLETELY come time for execution, but I do always make a plan in my head about having things in order.”

25. “I will use data and analytics to win an argument or get things done my way. And I am not a crazy bubbly girl. I can be very withdrawn and I absolutely need alone time daily!”

26. “I have absolutely NO problem leaving a bad relationship. I’m like a lightswitch – one moment I’m *on*, the next, I’m OFF. And then I’m done. PeaceOut. I’m THE most outgoing person anyone had ever met, but I require a tremendous amount of alone time. I relate to introverts in this way. I’m very self reflective and introspective, and sometimes I can’t help it – I’ll go inside my own head, even in a room full of people. I have and always have had a very well developed Te. I’m all ENFP, but My alter-ego is an ENTJ. I might be flaky in my ramblings and I may go off in a million different directions in one conversation, but trust me – I am on the move! Once I make a decision about something, step aside. Everybody outta my way, I’m about to get shit DONE! Im also very organized and love to label EVERYTHING! I am serious about things being put back where they belong. Except for when I get dressed in morning. I’m always late, but I can never decide what to wear, so there’s always a pile of clothes on the floor of my closet that need to be put back on the hanger. Other than that, everything ENFP describes me EXACTLY!”

Heidi Priebe explains how to manage the ups, downs and inside-outs of everyday life as an ENFP in her book available here.