13 ISFJs Explain Exactly How To Win Over Their Type

unsplash.com/Dominik Martin
unsplash.com/Dominik Martin

1. “Take the time to actually get to know me. I can tell when you’re distracted or not being genuine, and that can hurt. Look me in the eyes, really listen. I’ll feel known and valued, and cared for. A good hug also goes a long way if I know you well enough.”

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2. “Be open honest and down to earth. Don’t play games with me. You will need to court me because I am old fashioned – I like flowers, poems and people who remember the little things I tell them. Birthdays, valentine’s day, and anniversaries matter to me. Plan meaningful dates with a variety of fun activities. Don’t leave me hanging, keep me informed. Be sensitive and kind to me.”

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3. “Spend quality time with me but not too much. Also be a kind and caring person to the disadvantaged.”

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4. “Be relaxed. Be inquisitive. Be observant. Have sense of humour. Be forgiving. Be kind. Be a lover not a hater. Don’t be something your not. If it’s meant to be it will be great.”

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5. “Put away your phone and be present in our interactions. I’m happy doing almost anything as long as the time spent with someone is quality time bonding and making memories.”

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6. “Make sure I know how much you appreciate and value our relationship. Little things like texts, hugs, phone calls, etc. tell me that I’m important to you.”

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7. “Be kind and gentle and allow me to move at my own pace. I can’t rush falling in love or opening up to a friend and will quickly be repulsed if the person is rude or brusk with me or those around me. Ask me to repeat what I said if you didn’t hear it – sometimes I’m soft spoken and there are few things that make me feel more noticed than when someone really tries to listen to what I’m saying.”

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8. “Surprise me by remembering something little that I had previously mentioned – that kind of thing goes a long way with me.”

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9. “Consistently be there for me, use words of encouragement and make me feel safe during new experiences – I want to do new things badly but I never seem to be able to come up with the ideas!”

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10. “Don’t try and win me over with sleaze or flash, I’ll run in the other direction. It’s the little gestures that make me feel comfortable around you, and show you really want to get to know me for me.”

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11. “Don’t rush the relationship. Love and appreciate me just as I am, and be aware that it takes awhile for me to feel comfortable with change. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel deeply. Overall, be genuine, and notice the small things…which aren’t so small to us ISFJs.”

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12. “Do something intimate and personalized – when you spend time thinking and planning carefully to make sure that the details aren’t overlooked, we notice and appreciate it.”

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13. “Care for me and let me care for you. But also respect that I need my space. I can’t be around you 24/7 as much as a part of me would like to be.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Pick up Heidi’s new book “How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Personality Type” here.

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