27 INFPs Explain Exactly How To Win Over Their Type

unsplash.com/Med Badr Chemmaoui
unsplash.com/Med Badr Chemmaoui

1. “It’s all about the conversation. Hands down, the most important thing to us is connecting, so being able to talk about anything and everything with you is absolutely crucial (and super attractive).”

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2. “Be kind. Be honest. Be patient. Pay attention. If you are grounded and nurturing, but also sarcastic and rebellious then I probably already like you. All that’s left is for you to show me that you will stick it out.”

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3. “Show interest, ask specific questions to unleash our thoughts, be open, non judgmental and present (we need quality time!). Know that it will take a while for us to open up and be completely comfortable.”

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4. “Try to get past boring platitudes and talk about something we both find really interesting. Say something that will make me think.”

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5. “Listen to me, validate my feelings, do silly shit with me and laugh over lame things. Use touch to show that you want to be more than friends. Show that you will be there for me when I need you.”

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6. “The small acts of consideration go a long way. Don’t just tell me that you care – show me in the little everyday things you do.”

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7. “Be real. No small talk. Be vulnerable with me because I only know how to be vulnerable, so the only way I can be in a relationship is if our emotions are raw and real.”

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8. “When you first meet me, you’ll probably always have to make the first move, and need to have a desire to keep the conversation going. Small talk isn’t really a thing though, I seem to fall more for the hilarious, nonsensical conversations!”

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9. “The little things are more important than the grand gestures. Hold the door open. Listen with attention. Ask about things that matter to me. Take responsibility for yourself. Be generous.”

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10. “Ask me about my thoughts. I want you to know me, but sometimes I’m afraid of scaring you off with the number of odd things going on in my head.”

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11. “Be a person of complete integrity. Your core values are who you are and good character will always shine from the inside out. Bonus points if you have a witty sense of humour!”

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12. “Be non-judgmental and validate my feelings because I might not always have the word to know why I am feeling the way I do. But trust I have good intentions.”

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13. “Be genuine and honest, I’ll figure out the rest myself.”

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14. “Ask me questions. There’s a lot I want to share with you but one, I don’t know how to get started and two, I don’t want to seem annoying. So if you’re interested, act interested!”

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15. “Be genuine. Don’t play the immature game of feigning disinterest; the minute you do so, I truly lose any interest. Don’t dwell on small talk. I don’t want to hear about how drunk you got at that party last weekend. My goal is to understand your core, true self and all that comes with it: fears, desires, ambitions, insecurities and passions.”

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16. “Don’t be afraid to unleash your intelligence. “Talk nerdy to me” is a real thing. Intellectually stimulating conversations are my catnip.”

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17. “Show me that you’re curious, creative, and as open-minded as humanly possible. Inspire me. Show me that you’re positive and believe in humanity’s potential for good. Show me that you’re excited to be alive and experience what the world has to offer. Be respectful of all life.”

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18. “Show me that you’re someone who likes to take action and the initiative, and won’t mind giving me a nudge (I often lack the motivation to get out of my head or my house, but if you inspire me to get out and experience what life has to offer, I’ll love you forever).”

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19. “Whatever you do, DO NOT display jealousy, possessiveness, or neediness. I require my space and alone time, and sometimes I’ll want to be with my friends (without you), and I need you to be ok with that. Ideally, you’d encourage it, because you know it’s what’s best for my mental and emotional health.”

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20. “Please don’t believe that I complete you; I want us to be two complete humans that enhance each others’ lives and bring out the best in each other. And please, don’t be someone who holds grudges, or is quick to anger. Life’s too short, and the only person you hurt with your anger is yourself. Finally, I want you to think that I’m amazing, and that you’re lucky to have me in your life. Because I want to feel the same way about you.”

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21. “Be genuinely interested in who I am when I’m being authentic. Create space for that to happen by being trustworthy and accepting. Also, holding a belief that the norms of society are optional doesn’t hurt.”

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22. “Your love needs to be unconditional and big enough to contain my dreams and my imperfections. Give me lots of space – lets be in each others orbit. Also show me lots of affection. And have a killer sense of humor.”

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23. “Please don’t be corny. I can sense tackiness and inauthenticity from a mile away and it’s a huge turn off. Be yourself, I love someone who is confident but humble. Don’t force yourself upon me, give me the space to test your vibe and the ‘waters’ around you. Be patient with me, my comfort levels, and openness. That stuff takes time.”

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24. “Show me that you have depth and accept me exactly as I am – mood swings and all.”

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25. “If your soul is pure it doesn’t matter how dirty your hands are.”

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26. “Just listen to me, please! I often let people talk for five hours and some still interrupt me after that. Be kind and non judgmental to those around us – empathy is the best sign of emotional intelligence. And if you love me, show it! Don’t try to play mysterious, I like social/accessible people.”

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27. “Just be yourself. Nothing good gets away.” TC mark

Pick up Heidi’s new book “How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Personality Type” here.

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