24 INTJs Explain Exactly How To Win Over Their Type

1. “Ask probing questions that make me think but also allow me to reveal myself. Bring up tough topics for discussion. Make love to my mind!”

2. “Be genuine and don’t be afraid to speak your mind, even if we INTJs don’t agree. Don’t let us intimidate you – we’re human just like you. Give us however much time we need to be alone, if we have a problem we just need time to think it through before we act. Don’t pressure us to do anything, and don’t think that just because we love you, we’ll sacrifice ourselves for you. In the end, we’ll always love ourselves more and won’t keep you in our lives if we notice that you’re toxic.”

3. “Confidence, confidence, confidence. I’m frequently told by both sexes that I’m intimidating, so it’s very refreshing and impressive when I’m approached by someone who isn’t afraid of me.”

4. “Be real. Ask questions about who I am as a person: what I value, what things or experiences made me who I am today, why I love what career/interest I love, etc. Questions that ask me about real things and how I think and what I believe. This also gives me a chance to turn around and ask you the same questions, which helps me get to know you on a deep level.”

5. “Excite me. Make me think. Let me be myself. Be weird with me. Respect my alone time. Push me to break my own boundaries. Trust me. Leave all stereotypes at the door and love me for me.”

6. “I like someone that is intelligent, intuitive to my feelings and need for space, and also has a sense of humor.”

7. “Just be direct with me. I appreciate boldness!”

8. “Take it slow, be genuine, don’t be a peacock. Get to know me in an environment without formality or pressure; just simple hangouts and discussions. Let us build up curiosity, interest and trust. Don’t do openly romantic things to us in front of people or we will clam up and feel like it’s a show and want to evade the spotlight. Just be casual and real – and a little adventurous once our guard is down!”

9. “Be honest and authentic. Don’t sit on the fence. If we like what we see we’ll stick around.”

10. “To win over an INTJ, know them. Their mind is undiscovered territory, that is chalk full of infinite mystery. I guess for lack of a better term, try and solve them.”

11. “Be there for me and be honest. Let me learn about myself through you.”

12. “Be focused on a goal and catch my attention. I need something to start conversations with and seeing you do what you do gives me a range of conversation starters. Give me long answers to my questions, it does not matter if you smile or not, the very fact that you are staying is enough for me to know that you are interested. Do not be afraid to ask me anything. Nothing is too private or if it is, i understand and would even admire your directness. Do not be shy. I take that as rejection regardless of the situation.”

13. “Shoot straight with me from day one but don’t overwhelm; increase intentionally structured intimacy over time.”

14. “Be direct, honest, and sincere. Don’t waste time with games. Also, do not boast or be overly attentive. I also personally like guys who are a little nerdy and confident enough to let that show.”

15. “Be intelligent; text with proper grammar; have at least a graduate degree; be confident but not arrogant; take pride in your health; exercise; have your shit together; be governed by rationality, not emotions; have a thought provoking, meaningful conversation with me; dislike people just as much as I do, but still be able to conduct yourself in a social environment.”

16. “I usually take on the role as listener, so I’m impressed when someone takes real interest in what I have to say in a selfless way.”

17. “Be a combination of intelligent, talented, beautiful, wise, virtuous, to the point where I just can’t help but be in awe of you (Especially since INTJs don’t typically think that about most people they meet).”

18. “Being honest and straightforward are your best bets. I can’t read your mind and my mind isn’t capable of being laid back and just going with the flow.”

19. “Please be patient because it takes me awhile to warm up to people. Also, DO NOT make comments based on any of the following themes: my need to ‘come out of my shell’; my need to ‘get out more’; or your desire to ‘drag my lazy butt out of the house’.”

20. “Don’t be subtle, because I won’t pick up on it.”

21. “Impress me. Show me you’re worth the risk of love. Every choice I make is calculated. So make the benefits of a relationship with you outweigh the downsides.”

22. “Be honest and direct 100% of the time. If you lie to me, I will be done with you. Make sure you can teach me new things or push me in some way, over and over again. Loyalty is a huge plus, because I am extremely loyal to those I love.”

23. “Make me think about something in a different way. I probably won’t make it obvious if you did though. But I really value it. Be either smart, or ignorant and funny.”

24. “Be honest. I probably like you more than you suspect.”