23 INFJs Explain Exactly How To Win Their Type Over

1. “Approach me like a cat would to an unknown object. Slowly but full of curiousity. Be sincere in your actions, and tell me about your greatest passions.”

2. “I need to be able to trust you. That’s hard to do because trusting people is something that I have a hard time doing. Just be patient and understanding as I open up to you. Be intentional and don’t confuse me with mixed signals. I need closure and assurance of feelings. Spell it out in black and white if you have to. I can be oblivious to romance at times. But once I decide I want you, I am fiercely loyal, and unconditionally loving and accepting.”

3. “Actively listen and engage in conversation. Get excited about little stuff. Be excited with me about little stuff. Write a sweet note or even a small text letting me know you thought of me. It doesn’t have to be romantic, just a reminder that you care. Initiate plans.”

4. “Answer all my questions honestly – and don’t make a move too soon. Let me get comfortable first.”

5. “I usually feel an affinity towards someone right away or not. When it does happen, look me in the eyes, show me you felt it too and just stay.”

6. “Appreciate my knowledge and all of my quirks and differences. I pave my own way instead of following someone else’s path. It can be hard to be in a relationship with someone who goes against the grain most of the time.”

7. “Really listen to what I have to say and get to know me at my core. The more I can tell you are interested in getting to know both the pretty and not-so-pretty sides of me, the more I’ll trust you as a friend.”

8. “Show me that you can be trusted. Help me break out of my shell unsafe scenarios. And listen when I say things. If I say “I need your help,” it’s not flippant. It took everything I had to ask.”

9. “Show up. Be vulnerable. Let me see you. For me, I want to know you. I love you not in spite of your flaws, but because of them. You are only you when you are wholly you, and I want to know wholly you.”

10. “Take the relationship seriously, but help me not take myself too seriously.”

11. “Be emotionally vulnerable, trustworthy, available and willing to initiate contact.”

12. “Talk me out of my shell, and really listen to me. A person who really tries to understand me is someone I would go to war for. It’s rare when someone tries.”

13. “Try not to over think it. Just focus on being friends and not what you would get in return.”

14. “Be your real self around INFJs. We will know when you are, and will immediately want to strengthen the connection that’s between us. But be aware, we will not give you all of ourselves right away. But if you stay you around, we will eventually show you ourselves too.”

15. “Make me laugh and challenge me, even though I’ll pretend to hate it.”

16. “Make me think about things in a way I’ve never thought of before. Keep me guessing as to what you’re going to say next.”

17. “Have a good sense of humor. Be witty and open to having interesting discussions.”

18. “Show me that you really care about me and that you are just trying to get something from me. It’s in the details like remembering I can’t eat certain foods or remembering I’m only free on certain days. Just be thoughtful.”

19. “Be very direct and compliment me on the things you like about me. Honestly is the best policy especially since I can almost always tell when you’re lying.”

20. “To win me over, TALK TO ME. Ask me questions. Seem interested in what I think and feel. I need your attention, I need to feel understood. I also want you to reach out to me, since I’ll never feel confident reaching out to you. I need to take it slow and I need you to understand that I can’t say I love you until I really know you.”

21. “Be independent but able to be there when it counts.”

22. “Be genuine and kind to me. Smile and laugh earnestly. Open up to me. Be honestly interested in my thoughts ideas and stories. Let me be really silly and enjoy it with me.”

23. “Be consistent and steady. It may take a while but once we know you can be trusted we’ll give our all.”

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