30 ENFPs Explain The One Thing They Wish Others Understood About Their Personality

Even though we're highly expressive, we are very level-headed and deep thinkers.

Updated 11 months ago, January 16, 2024

ENFPs are the passionate, outgoing idea-generators of the MBTI. Embodying a profoundly strange mixture of intellectual enthusiasm and emotional depth, there is often a significant discrepancy between how this type is perceived an how they actually are. This week on my MBTI Facebook page, I asked ENFPs what they wish the other types understood about their unconventional personalities. Here’s what they had to say.

1. “I don’t want to be judged as super extroverted, extremely confident and shallow. I want introverts to know that we can stay at home having deep conversations. I don’t want to be dismissed simply for being an extrovert.”

2. “We are capable leaders. It’s just that our leadership style is not – for lack of a better word – authoritarian.”

3. “I contradict myself a lot because I’m always looking for new possibilities. There are so many routes, paths, chances, doors, and odysseys to cross and tackle that I’ll never feel satisfied until I do it all!”

4. “We are actually really good at making and keeping plans, both in our personal lives, and in project management/deadline situations at work.”

5. “I’m not nosy or looking to know things for any nefarious reason. I genuinely LOVE all your differences and I want to know how you came to be exactly who you are.”

6. “I don’t like being treated like a stereotype. I don’t want to treat you like one, either.”

7. “I’m a scatter brain but it doesn’t mean I’m short on attention – it just means I am intensely interested in too many things.”

8. “I don’t want solutions. I just want to be heard and understood.”

9. “Yes, I am THAT curious.”

10. “I have a LOT of big feelings and yes, I operate out of them. BUT I am capable of discipline and study when I am truly invested in something. I deeply value knowledge and thinking processes but in the end facts will still be run through my ‘feeling’ filter. Sorry (not sorry)!”

11. “ENFPs are passionate, but it doesn’t mean we’re irrational.”

12. “We’re not as confident as you think; we just want to be loved!”

13. “When we are quiet and withdrawn we are actually ok – we’re more introverted than you think we are.”

14. “I’ll be totally different tomorrow; in fact I may not even be here!”

15. “I’m scatter-brained but I’m not dumb. I notice a lot and I am quite intuitive about people’s unspoken emotions and thoughts–but don’t always share everything I know in order to keep the peace. Emotional arguments are EXHAUSTING.”

16. “I tend not to judge but that doesn’t mean I don’t have values. I just don’t see how immediately categorizing someone and then dismissing them helps anyone. I can probably find common ground with almost anyone of any type, if you promise to meet me at least a quarter of the way.”

17. “I don’t need you to fix my problem! I need you to shut up and let me vent!”

18. “I can commit and I do commit quite strongly in relationships, but will walk away once I realize it isn’t working no matter what I do. I stay in relationships longer than I probably should but that’s because I never want to say ‘what if..?’ I will not be on my deathbed with regrets. And I think about that a lot.”

19. “When we ask you to come over it doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Come over in your sweats and watch a couple reruns of something. We just need an hour of human contact and we are happy.”

20. “I will get that project finished, even though its boring as batshit. Thank you for helping me stay focused, but don’t ride me.”

21. “I’m not forgetful… I just literally can’t focus when you’re talking about what your coworker’s friend did last week…. I’m too busy trying to understand the implications of finding water on mars…. why did it take so long to find? Where did they find it? I should look this up.”

22. “We can do hard rational logic, it just doesn’t look like that when we’re all bouncy and enthusiastic.”

23. “Yes I’m social, no that doesn’t mean I want to party 24/7. I need my alone time, too.”

24. “We deserve to be taken seriously just like anyone else! Maybe we have that childlike curiosity and enthusiasm, but it doesn’t mean that we deserve to be looked down upon or treated like children because we’re open to all sorts of possibilities.”

25. “I wish other people understood the whole ‘ I honestly can’t make up my mind’ thing. Sometimes I have to try out different things (careers, goals, people…) before I can find a good match and even then I find myself pondering greener pastures. Drives us all crazy.”

26. “Just because I love people doesn’t mean I’m always happy and just because I’m always talking doesn’t mean I’m stupid. You might think you know me well but you probably really don’t. All you’ve seen so far is the part of me I’ve chosen to show you. There’s a lot more hiding you have yet to figure out. And yes I do really love you already as much as I act like I do. I love everyone. That’s just who I am. But don’t think you understand me perfectly yet. And don’t judge me because that’s the one thing that’ll make me mad.”

27. “Even though we’re highly expressive and sometime come across heedless, we are very level-headed and deep thinkers.”

28. “I have many, many, countless, endless musings that run through my head! I can create an entire fantasy of a timeline in the blink of an eye, and I’ll act like it’s a reality for a few moments. (For example, if I meet someone new, I may very well muse over the possibilities and fantasies of pursuing them, and dating them) and I’ll get super stoked about these possibilities and fantasies. It doesn’t mean I ever actually expect them to become reality, but I will be JUST as excited about them simply because for a moment, in that moment, it was a reality in my mind.”

29. “ENFPs are not stupid! We lead with extroverted intuition so we might be a little more in our head and we may be a little overdramatic and passionate at times but we sincerely enjoy learning and growing too!”

30. “Please be more patient with us. It’s hard to focus on the practical side of things when we can imagine a much better world. That’s just the way we’re wired.”