It’s 1997. Up until now, my world has largely been influenced by Tommy Pickles, The Seattle Supersonics (hey, Ray Allen), and the irresistible, female-empowering tracks of the Spice Girls. My greatest concerns are keeping the “bumps” out of my hair with gobs of L.A. Looks hair gel and preventing my brother from artistically dismembering my Barbie dolls. Times were pretty good. But they were about to get even better. Enter Titanic.
Women (and men) from all over the world were love-struck when Leo serenaded Kate as they gazed into the sunset at the bow of the ship with their arms spread wide. What more could a 9 year old girl ask for, let alone any hopeless romantic with a slight obsession for any man to bless the cover of Tiger Beat magazine? A few life lessons, perhaps? Titanic didn’t just nearly put us all over the edge, but it gifted us with valuable advice we can apply to our daily lives. Here are seven things we all learned from one of the most epic films to grace our generation:
1. Make Each Day Count…Because You Don’t Know What Hand You’re Going to Get Dealt
Some might argue that Jack Dawson’s winning poker hand wasn’t that lucky at all since, well, we all know how the movie ends. However, had Jack not won the game, he wouldn’t have met Rose, and had he not met Rose, then we wouldn’t have witnessed the beautiful yet melodramatic romance that unfolded before our boy band tainted eyes. As Jack so astutely put it, “When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose”. So take risks, live each moment like it’s your last, and establish a convincing poker face.
2. The Unsinkable Molly Brown’s Guide to Dinner Etiquette
Salad fork, check. Soup spoon, check. Tiny fork all the way to the right plus all of the extra non-identifiable objects above your dinner plate…*gasp* HELP! But don’t fret – the humble, down-to-earth Molly Brown has all of your answers in a simple-to-follow phrase: “Just start from the outside and work your way in”.
3. Your Parents Really, Really Love You
At least mine did. It’s an incredibly selfless act to sit through seven screenings of a four hour production, two hours of which cause most viewers to panic and sob endlessly into their package of tissues. That’s 28 hours of Leo-packed entertainment they most likely didn’t want to see. But they did it. And your parents probably did it too. And I’ll bet they bought you the videocassette as soon as it was released so you could watch it an additional seven times while they tried to gain those 28 hours back.
4. Third Class Knows How to Party
First class, schmerst class. Why feast on caviar and pâté de foie gras when you can drink beer in a room complete with fiddle players and merry people dancing? If you’re broke, fresh out of college, still finding your way or just can’t seem to navigate around this economic iceberg, then surely you can relate.
5. Foggy Windows Can Add to the Ambiance
Who doesn’t remember Rose’s infamous hand swipe as she passionately made love to the hottest man on deck? Come on, you know you’ve thought about replicating the hand swipe on the passenger side window (or any regularly transparent object-gone-cloudy). Blurred lines, anyone?
6. To Spit Like a Man
7. You Have (Probably Less Than) a 50% Chance of Releasing Someone From Handcuffs Using an Axe
With your eyes closed, it’s probably closer to 2%. Just be sure to take a couple of practice swings.
So let’s give James Cameron a big “Thank You” for casting two genetically gifted actors, for providing us with four hours worth of entertainment during those long rainy days, and for teaching us all a few life lessons along the way.