15 Signs You Have An Abusive Friend


1. They cut you down in conversation, acting like anything serious you just said is stupid and eye-roll worthy.

2. They invite you somewhere, don’t give you the details and then the next morning act all apologetic when you missed it. They just wanted you to know that your good time was in their hands.

3. They send crazy, threatening emails when they’re mad instead of confronting you nicely. They want the drama of ruining or interrupting your day whenever they please.

4. They give you passive-aggressive compliments like, “Oh wow. You FINALLY did something with your hair!”

5. They tease you about your nerdier interests in front of strangers in a way that writes you off and feels dehumanizing. It’s so they can seem cooler.

6. They bring up your more embarrassing moments when they feel like you’re getting “too confident” because god forbid, you threaten their dominance.

7. You’re on eggshells around them because you don’t know what will make them angry.

8. You’re entire nightly plan revolves around them calling you and when they do, you feel grateful.

9. They make fun of your clothing choices. Like, you get dressed, meet up with them and they say, “Oh man, is that what you’re wearing?” Yes. Because I am out of the house and outside this bar with you. So yeah, it’s what I’m wearing. Thanks for the self-consciousness.

10. They livetweet private conversations and act like it’d be absurd to have to ask you if that’s okay.

11. They basically make any complaint you have seem like you’re the one being unreasonable and crazy so you start to feel like it’s not even worth it to tell them when they’re sucking, ergo they believe they are above reproach.

12. They bring another friend along to hang out and then spend the whole time talking in inside jokes with that friend that you don’t get, purposefully making you the outsider.

13. They hooked up with your ex, immediately after you broke up because like, what? You were broken up!

14. If you decide to do something different with your time instead of what they had planned for all of you, they take it personally and shun you next time they see you.

15. You don’t have fun with them and they don’t make you feel good. You just feel like you want to be around them because they seem powerful and because you feel like you’re nothing without them. That’s a feeling they’ve cultivated in you so they can control you.


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