1. Give her compliments.

This seems like a no-brainer, but you can, and very easily, sail into forgetting to do this when you’re in a long-term relationship. Women love being told we look beautiful. We love it when you highlight the obvious things you love about us. We love it when you compliment our hair and our clothes on date night, but we also love it when you say things like “I like the pouty face you make when you’re crunching numbers”, or ” Your eyes look so beautiful when they dash across the pages of a book”. Those non-obvious comments are everything. They tell us you’re paying attention and they reveal angles of ourselves that we can’t see. Little comments like these help us see ourselves like you do.

2. Don’t allow her to self-deprecate.

Women do this all the time. We call ourselves fat, ugly, and we point out all of our imperfections. We’re our worst critic. Thankfully, you exist and can change that. When your girlfriend says “Ugh, look at this pooch”, you can counterclaim that with something positive like “Are you kidding me? I love your belly!”. Never allow for her to self-deprecate. Be a hero and infuse her with confidence. Believe or not you definitely have that power, Superman.

3. Focus on her when she’s present.

Ok, guys. We’re not blind nor are we dumb. We know you look. Heck, we look too! This is perfectly normal behavior. In fact, you looking at another girl is completely innocent most of the time. On that note, I’d like for you to understand something about women; we compete with each other. We’ll never admit to it, but it’s the truth. So if we catch you staring at the leggy blonde by the bar, most of us will immediately go into competition mode and unfortunately take it out on you. It’s not that we’re insecure, although sometimes insecurity can affect this, we just hate knowing that you might find someone else attractive. I feel like I’m totally breaking the girl code here, but if you’re going to look, please do it wisely aka don’t get caught!

4. Don’t compare her to anyone.

If we do something on the “crazy” side, please don’t compare us to your “psycho” ex-girlfriend. Also, never call anyone you dated crazy or a psycho, it just makes you look bad. If we do something sweet, don’t compare us to your mom, because that’s just ew. We don’t want to remind you of your mom, ever. Steer clear of comparisons, we don’t like it.

5. Help her be independent.

Early on in relationships, we want to spend all the livelong day with you. We ditch our friends to be with you constantly and we allow for you to become the center of our entire lives. We just love you that much! I’m sure you love getting worshiped and I’m sure you enjoy knowing where we are all the time, but you also have to encourage us to have our own friends and lives. Being attached at the hip, something most women always want to do when they’re in love is completely unnecessary and unhealthy. It’s important for you to stress how incredibly important your own independence is, as well as how much you love knowing that we too have our own activities and fun things to partake in. When you’re out with your buds and she’s out with her girls, definitely text her telling her that you miss her. You’ll so score points there. We value those little gestures so much.

6. Be her biggest fan.

When she succeeds at doing something, really show her how proud you are. It makes a girl feel so special when her boyfriend is proud of her. When we’re struggling with something be our motivators and let us know you’re there and that everything is going to be ok.

7. Be honest.

If we’re getting on your nerves, don’t swallow up those feelings. If you do that what’ll end up happening is that you’ll explode and possibly say or do things you don’t really mean. If we’re doing something that’s making you feel uncomfortable, please speak to us. Be honest and make sure that everything you say you say it with love and not to attack us.

8. Tell her how she’s making your life better.

If you don’t tell us, we’ll never know and not knowing makes us feel like we’re not a substantial and important part of your life. Tell us how we make you feel and how life is a little happier by our side. Tell us how you love it that because of us you discovered that you love sushi or how easier life is now that your closet in color coded. Whatever we’ve done to make your life better is always worth telling us about.

9. Be affectionate.

Hold our hands, wink at us from across the room. Kiss us, hold us, hug us and grab our butts. We love it and you can never ever offer too much affection.