1. You believe in love but don’t believe in people anymore.
2. Grey is your favorite color because it beautifully reflects the balance of life.
3. Your good-morning texts are sent in the evening so that you sound chill instead of clingy, needy, or desperate.
4. You don’t introduce people you are romantically or sexually involved with to your family or friends because it will complicate your life and eventually fuck you up.
5. You over-think telling someone you love them. You analyze your feeling and where they are coming from. What if it’s lust? Or, what if you love the idea of them not them? You want to say it in the most romantic way possible. You take away the intimacy and the vulnerability from saying it face-to-face although you crave them so much.
6. You are guarded. You fear getting your heart broken. Not a lot of people know who you really are. You shy away details about your past from people. You keep your life private.
7. You have trust issues. You don’t believe everything you hear and you don’t believe anything you see.
8. You think to yourself if you’ll ever be someone’s partner or parent and you just feel such a disconnect between who you are now and who you could be someday.
9. You never let someone sleepover at your place because you have rules. You don’t want to wake-up with an empty bed. You don’t want to see memories wherever you lay down to sleep. And you surly don’t want to let someone in because what if they are not right for you? what if it’s a game, an illusion, a series of regrets?
10. You have your share of days when the word “love” makes you sick. Love songs make you even sicker. You are in the fuck love mood and you secretly enjoy it.
11. You see the beauty of life but you don’t feel it. As if it’s meant for you to see but not experience.
12. You are romantic at heart secretly wishing you could be an asshole instead.
13. You don’t put a label on it. You go on dates but you call it hanging out instead. You are good at denying your feelings for someone and you are even better at hiding them. You shy away from calling things what they really are. Although you’re in a relationship, you convince yourself that you’re seeing them or that you’re just having fun. You prefer being in a FWB or FB arrangement because love sounds too good to be true for you because you always end-up somewhere unpleasant.
14. You also have your share of days when you are craving love. You want it right-now and you feel like it’s your knight in the shining armor.
15. You are hardly surprised by anything. It’s not that you are prepared for heartache or for disappointment. You’re just numb. You are a bundle of nothing. Maybe you’re feeling too much that it seems as if you feel nothing at all.
16. You don’t buy it when someone tells you they’ll be there for you. You have been there before. You know better.
17. You question people’s intentions for you because you have learned that not everyone is good at heart.
18. You enjoy the company of people but to a certain extent because you also value your alone time.
19. You want to love. You want to be loved. But, it just doesn’t seem to work for you. And so you wonder if you’ll ever experience raw, real love.