Falling In Love With One Asshole After The Other, Here’s What I Learned

Denis Gavrilenco
Denis Gavrilenco

Unlike becoming an asshole, meeting an asshole is just inevitable. And it happens too many times that you begin to wonder whether:

a) you’ve been making bad decisions, b) you’ve been suffering from low self-esteem and almost non-existent confidence, c) you deserve what’s been happening to you, d) life is just full of bad people and assholes.

All could be true. All could be false. One thing I know for sure is that I don’t know why we keep falling for the same shit, finding ourselves in the same old hole over and over again.

Regardless, falling isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it presents to us a perspective we wouldn’t otherwise have seen had we’ve been at the top or flying all of the time.

See, the thing about life is that we never know what’s about to happen or when it will happen yet, we can prepare ourselves for what’s to come so we are not destroyed. Maybe wounded, maybe hurt, maybe angry, maybe furious, but not destroyed.

Assholes need us, we don’t need them.We care. We pay attention to the little things about them. We notice and know things about them that not a lot of people do.

When we sense that they’ve been going through something or that they’ve changed, we confront them and we show our concern. We remind them of their good side, their strengths and what they are capable of. We also remind them of what truly matters in life like family, following their dreams, being true to who they are, and caring for people. We are always there for them.

Without us, they lose a sense of direction because we serve as a guiding light in their lives whether they like to admit it or not. We love them the love they can never give us, the love they can never be..

Assholes are weak, we are strong. I mean, just think about all of the emotional abuse and wrongful treatment we expose ourselves to just because we believe that there’s a good side to an asshole. Assholes are self-absorbed and so selfish that they continuously miss out on the opportunity to grow and learn from the Universe.

We see people as people not as things to use and benefit from. We value what people have to offer us. We believe that everyone matters and we live by that. Assholes think that they are better than everyone, that they are the smartest players out there.

They might win the game of hearts, but they lose at love because it is a battlefield.

We look up to people and are humble to the sole fact that we are here, alive. The moment things get tough or real, assholes run the opposite direction.

They are good at destroying people, we heal them. They are great at breaking things, we fix them. We stand our ground when things are not going our way. We always check ourselves. We realize that everything has a consequence: said or unsaid, done or undone. We acknowledge karma. We hold ourselves responsible and accountable to the choices and the decisions we make, day after day.

Assholes show us what we deserve, we show them what they don’t.

Because they are arrogant and egoistic, they think that they are the shit for having you wrapped around their finger, for having you fall for them despite their ugly, unacceptable behavior. They think they can find better and they think they can find real and magical once too many times. After it’s too late and after they’ve sunk in their own lonely hole.

They’ll realize that you were the best thing that has ever happened to them. And although they might be your biggest mistake, you are their biggest regret. Their ultimate dream is yet to unravel, one chapter after the other. Allow time to be your witness!

And to all of the assholes out there, I advise you to:

“Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars.”  More like counting rocks.  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

An Arab at heart. A writer in the making. A unicorn wannabe.

Keep up with Farah on Instagram

More From Thought Catalog