You Want Me, I Want You, How Come This Is Goodbye?

We jump into things in life as we have our mind-set on how things are going to go, we have our ground rules laid out, and we know what we want. At least, that is what we think. We tend to think that we are in control. We tend to think that we’ve got it all figured out. We tend to think that we can see things coming.

For instance, we feel a mutual attraction and desire for this certain someone at the first time we meet them. As the connection progresses, it nourishes to be something like we have never experienced before. We find ourselves thinking about that someone at everyday moments like at work or a group setting of friends and family. We become distracted. But it’s that kind of distraction that reminds us that we have found something special, something worth coming back for, something worth taking a chance on.

And that is just so mesmerizing. It is mesmerizing because the touch of that person makes us feel alive after feeling numb for the longest time ever. It is special because their eyes hide so much potential of a dream we have been searching for everywhere. It is surreal because they know exactly how to set our heart on fire and they simply drive us completely nut! We’re at the top of the world. We’re on cloud 9. It feels as the Universe is resting in our hand.

And as they remind us of the realest moments we had with someone whether it is a parent, an ex, or someone dear to us who passed away, we panic. We become so afraid of breaking our old ways we used to protect ourselves from such a magical feeling. So, we try to get busy with our life, we take on extra shifts at work, we spend more time with our support system, we might even try to hook-up with someone else. Yet, somehow we find ourselves one step away at their door, one button from dialing their number, one word away from asking about how they are doing.

And because we built our guard up so high that when an earthquake shakes the base that we have been building so persistently, we get afraid. We get resentful, we get defensive. And so we become hurtful. We suppress our feelings and ignore our thoughts because we like to be in control. We want to navigate the process of falling for someone. We want to have it all figured it out.

So, if you like most people out there who will decide to put an end for such a chaotic experience, please do it with uttermost respect and compassion. Communicate where you are coming from to the other person; share with them your fears, what you have been feeling, and where you want to go from there.

The way we end our relationships with people says a lot about who we are because our character goes under test when we are not at our best, when we are doubtful, confused, or hurt.

When things are not going our way and we can come out of such a situation in a kind and mature manner that is when we are winners regardless of how great the loss is. It is true victory when we overcome our own ego for what serves the person’s and our best interest even if it means that we will be hurting for a little while. And if you decide to have one last night then make it a memorable one. Make it the best of all moments. Let it be passionate, let it be electrifying. Let it get the best of you.

And for me, I will be missing the little things about you the most like the way you laugh from the bottom of your heart after a long day at work. I will miss how your energy changes when you talk about someone or someone that you love and who matters to you. I will miss the way you carry yourself around the room. I will miss our special moments. I will miss how you appreciated the little things about me, too.

I will miss running my fingers around your curly hair. I will miss tracing my hands over the map of your body. I will miss your cheesy compliments. I will miss you sexy, smart, safe and sound. I will miss you. Maybe we will cross paths again and pick-up where we left from; one touch away. But, until then: “Bajo un cielo cundido de estrellas y la luna asomada. En ti yo conseguí lo que me faltaba.”