6 Actors With Absolutely Zero Rizz

In my childhood, when dreams were made and used and wasted, I believed that movie stars were preordained for greatness.

I believed that only the most talented actors and actresses could break into the big leagues, and that a faceless, possibly masked demigod in Hollywood could sense their presence the day that they were born. Struck on the day of the actor’s birth as if by a vision, this demigod, who lived in the back of Universal Studios, would then observe the actor’s life in Topeka, Kansas from afar before later possessing the body of a movie producer and giving the actor their big break. I was a weird kid.

Obviously, that was just a childhood fantasy. Obviously, I know now that looks and nepotism in Hollywood are just as important, if not more important, than talent or charisma. Hollywood is a human-created and human-run industry, after all, and humans are nothing if not consistent. We like our eye candy and we love working with people who we already know. I feel like I was on my way to making a point somehow. Oh, yeah: Not all movie stars have charisma. Here are 6 who don’t.

1. Sam Worthington

He’s great as a gruff, cynical military grunt in the Avatar movies, but that doesn’t mean we have to love him. Whereas a true movie star would have taken that persona, exaggerated it, and milked it to success, Sam Worthington was content with phoning it in both on and off camera. In Clash of the Titans and Terminator Salvation, he was more of a walking set of abs than a vibrant screen presence. So, where is he now? Rich, famous, and not reading this. So, who’s the real loser here? (Us, in case that wasn’t clear.)

2. Taylor Lautner

Speaking of walking sets of abs… Taylor Lautner is an example of the age old adage: Beauty can’t buy you believable line deliveries. This poor guy was thrust into the role of movie star without anyone having a say in the matter. When he tried to transition to an action star career after Twilight, audiences were not gagging. He’s likeable and has a killer smile, but that’s not enough to dispel on-screen awkwardness. That said, he has found some success in self-aware roles where he played versions of himself, so good on him. 

3. January Jones

January Jones seems like the kind of numbed, distant actress who can excellently play an icy, repressed housewife once and then retire forever. That’s basically her career so far. She nailed it with Mad Men, even though many noticed her flat deliveries, but she failed to lend warmth to any of her later roles, such as her X-Men: First Class character, Emma Frost. Her Emmy nomination for Mad Men wasn’t a fluke; it was a testament to the show’s great writing. But she has barely worked since.

4. Sofia Carson

As the Crown Princess of Netflix Originals, Sofia Carson has a lot resting on her shoulders. Thankfully, though, Netflix Originals aren’t necessarily Oscar bait, because Carson delivers lines like a Westworld robot reading a CVS receipt. Whether in the sexist and right-leaning Purple Hearts or the pro-sleeping-with-your-teacher My Oxford Year, she delivers polish, glamour, and a divine sense of not knowing what she’s doing. 

5. Julianne Hough

Remember when this Dancing with the Stars personality was a movie star? She showed off stellar dance moves in Rock of Ages and the unnecessary 2011 remake of Footloose, but unfortunately her acting range only encapsulated one, maybe two emotions. With a dash more charisma, she could have faked it till she made it, but instead, she returned to DWTS with her tail between her legs.

6. Jaden Smith

This man had everything: Money, Hollywood parents, a quirky sense of fashion, and a blockbuster franchise practically tossed into his lap. And yet, he never reached movie star status, having failed to match his “cute kid” performance in The Pursuit of Happyness. From the Karate Kid reboot to After Earth, he never quite exuded the same charisma as his dad. Or his sister, for that matter. Remember “Whip My Hair?” That said, Jaden can wear a house better than anyone.