7 Unhinged Moments From ‘The White Lotus,’ Ranked By Queerness
After two seasons, The White Lotus has generated enough queer memes to fuel Queer Twitter for at least the next four years. (And, tbh, Queer Twitter will need it.)
As created by the openly bisexual Mike White, The White Lotus is not afraid to embrace camp or deploy bottoming jokes when you least expect it. It’s also pulling its weight in terms of providing queer representation on TV, which is vital right now, during this Second Age of the Redhats. With that in mind, let’s celebrate this scathing dramedy’s most unhinged queer moments as we prepare for its Season 3 premiere on February 16.
7. Olivia and Paula’s ASMR session in Season 1
I will take the “show, don’t tell” approach here.
“I love it when you whisper,” murmurs Paula (Brittany O’Grady), her lips lifted into a devilish smile. “Do you wanna do some ASMR?” asks Olivia (Sydney Sweeney), hypnotic. Paula, still rapturous, nods silently. As a resonant, atonal instrument drones in the background, Olivia reaches as if to caress Paula’s neck, only to flick on a lighter next to her ear. Her eyes fixated on Paula’s velvety cheek, she switches out the lighter for a bottle of pills, which she tenderly rotates; then, she rolls a nug of weed between her fingers; then, forming a tight “o” with her mouth, she blows billowing smoke across Paula’s quivering eyelashes.
That’s queer as f*ck.
6. Tanya’s fateful boat trip
Tanya’s climactic Season 2 boat trip immediately became immortal on the Internet thanks to two simple yet brilliant lines: “These gays, they’re trying to murder me,” and “We’re all gay” (but in Italian). Leading up to this moment, Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge) had been enjoying the company of the enigmatic and fascinating Italian Gays, captivated by their sauciness and encyclopedic knowledge of opera. But once it became clear that her new horny friends were the literal Gay Mafia, she decided it was time to break up with them – by jumping overboard and dying.
5. Armond gifting Mark with his first gay thoughts
One of Season 1’s gayest storylines didn’t involve sex at all. It followed the excruciatingly straight Mark (Steve Zahn) as he learned that his late father had been gay and HIV-positive. For some reason, this made him question his sexuality, as if he had somehow always been gay without realizing it. In any case, Armond (Murray Bartlett) sensed Mark insecurity and impishly propositioned him, causing Mark to seriously consider trying out gay sex. Experimentation – We’re here for it! (As long as both parties agree that it’s a no-strings-attached scenario. No predatory experimentation, please, straight folks!)
4. The following lines exchanged between Cameron (Theo James) and Ethan (Will Sharpe)
I love you. I just wanna be inside you; I wanna do stuff to you; I wanna make you feel good.
3. Quentin and his nephew embracing their avuncular love
Now we’re getting into literal gay stuff. Who can forget the mind-blowing Season 2 moment when Tanya finds Quentin (Tom Hollander) being, uh, celebrated from behind, over and over, by Jack (Leo Woodall), his supposed nephew? Seen by accident through a cracked-open door, the grotesque arrangement calls to mind the mise-en-scène of a haunted house movie. It’s also a no-training-wheels, balls-to-the-wall depiction of The Love That Shall Not Be Named, and for that alone, The White Lotus deserves all of its Emmys.
2. Mia introduces Valentina to the Sapphic Way
Poor Mia (Beatrice Grannò) finds herself satisfying the needs of not one but two horny older people in Season 2 of The White Lotus. However, watching her get to work on Valentina (Sabrina Impacciatore) is surprisingly affecting. Valentina, who has never given into her lesbian feelings, suddenly learns what she’s been missing and it’s all thanks to Mia. You can practically see the metaphorical shackles tumble from Valentina’s wrists as she convulses and cranes her neck to the heavens.
1. Armond and Dillon (Lukas Gage) observe Employee Appreciation Day
Tbh, this peach-eating scene was shocking even for queer viewers of The White Lotus, but in a “wow, they went there” kind of way. I mean, how often do you see anilingus depicted on your computer screen? Oh, all the time? Oh no, I meant when you’re watching scripted TV. Never mind. Sorry I brought it up. Anyway, this was probably the most unapologetically queer moment in all White Lotus history. It will be hard for Season 3 to top it; however, I’d love to see it try.
