A good rom-com makes its leads seem down to Earth, even when one is Nicolas Cage. You see yourself in them as the obstacles come and reduce them to tears. You want them to triumph, to experience neverending bliss. Then you imagine yourself on screen, kissing your love interest as the leaves dance around your feet.
However, good rom-coms don’t always have realistic characters. If they make us swoon, then we don’t notice when they’re exaggerated – or even when they’re the worst people on the planet. Take these seven couples, for example. They don’t stand a chance – they’re too toxic – but they still got together in the end.
6. Andie & Ben in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
These two genuinely hated each other. They even sang about it, loudly, in public. And yet, they were so hot that they couldn’t escape each other’s pull. They kissed, etc. But at what cost? They manipulated each other for almost their entire relationship. And we’re supposed to believe that their physical perfection trounced all the emotional pain that they caused each other? Will this couple still feel the heat when the games stop and domestic bliss casts its mighty pall?
5. Juliet & Mark in Love Actually
Much ink has been spilled on this pair, but a list of mismatched rom-com couples isn’t complete without them. What is Juliet going to do? She just ran out into the street to kiss her husband’s best friend Mark because – what? – he glued an image of her rotting corpse to poster paper? And now she’s going to enjoy married life as if nothing happened? Something juicy’s about to go down with Juliet, Mark, and her husband Peter. Someone’s going to scream, someone’s going to cry, and someone’s going to chop off all their hair after doing ketamine for the first time.
4. Bridget & Mark Darcy – The Bridget Jones Trilogy
Technically, these two get married and have a son – but for how long? Well, not the having a son part – presumably a lifelong condition – but the being married thing. Mark Darcy is a terrible communicator and makes Bridget feel inadequate half the time, whereas Bridget lets her insecurities drive the relationship. I know this trilogy draws inspiration from Pride and Prejudice, but haven’t men learned anything in 230 years? This woman needs a man with sense and 21st-century sensibilities.
3. Jamie & Aurelia in Love Actually
Are you surprised that Love Actually is on here twice? But are you really surprised? Yeah, I’ll say it: Jamie and Aurelia are doomed. The relationship is essentially a physical one: They know nothing of each other’s values, cultures, histories, dreams. It’s cute that she learned some English, but that doesn’t inform Jamie of whether she prefers big spoon or little spoon, or whether she watches Vanderpump Rules! These are important conversations. Like, she could be a hired assassin or the Employee of the Month at the hostel from Hostel, and he wouldn’t even care because she knows the word “Yes.”
2. Blane & Andie in Pretty in Pink
In case you haven’t seen this titan of the rom-com genre, here’s a quick summary: Blane is rich; Andie is not; Blane stands up Andie on prom night; they fall in love. It’s about cliques and classism and confessions – standard coming-of-age rom-com fare. However, one faintly nice gesture at the end of a movie (Blane standing up for Andie) shouldn’t erase all the bullying that he put her through before. Blane may have just done the bare minimum that a boyfriend could do, but that’s not enough to make him marriage material. He’s going to grow up to become a used car salesman. Run, Andie!
1. Carrie & Charles in Four Weddings & a Funeral
“Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed” is one of the most iconically bad line readings in movie history. Additionally, Carrie – who utters the line – is one of the most toxic, noncommittal heroines in rom-com history. She only becomes interested in Charles after he gets engaged. Charles, for his part, is just as bad! He leaves his fiancée at the altar as soon as he learns that Carrie, who he barely knows, is single. These two are going to cheat on each other before Sunday.
