Not to say that I’ve ever (I totally have) been in the position of “unrequited love” — or rather fancied someone who didn’t fancy me — but it just sucks. There’s no way around the fact that every time you see the object of your affection, you get all jittery and they don’t even realize it. A message from your unrequited will light up your otherwise blank screen, and you respond in hopes of starting up a conversation, only to have your hopes slowly fade away with each passing minute. There’s really no way around it, and it just takes time, distance, and sometimes another individual for the feeling to begin to pass away. But there is some beauty, some positive to having a crush on someone who just doesn’t like you in that way. Really. Once you accept it, you just have to wait it out, and though this time will eventually pass, you might as well look for the silver linings.
1. You can devote more love to everyone else who matters in your life – your friends, your family.
Because your love isn’t getting reciprocated, there’s not need to spend it all on one person. Treat your best friend to a dinner, pick up the phone and have a nice, long chat with your brother. Not only will you be spreading the love, but you can take your mind off that person as well.
2. You don’t have to think hard about who would join you when you spin castles in your mind.
Unlike your friends who just can’t make up their mind about their crush of the day, or your other friends who are in, you know, real relationships, you can build castles in you mind with a specific person – fantasies that won’t be flawed by what it’s like to really be a relationship with them.
3. You don’t waste near as much time dealing with “love troubles”.
Unrequited love isn’t glamorous. It doesn’t lead to juicy stories or the dissection of text messages. You know your situation. You’re into someone. They’re not into you. There’s not much else you can say on the subject. So all of a sudden, you have hours of free time to be productive — or at least dawdle about on other topics. That is, unless you think there’s a slim possibility that that love might be reciprocated (this is usually thanks in part to a little pesky thing called hope). I suggest you squash hope like a spider because it’ll just lead you to waste time, rather than save it.
4. Even though your crush isn’t into you, spending time with them will brighten your day.
You don’t take your moments with them for granted, and those interactions make your day that much better. As long as you don’t live for those moments (and take to stalking them — believe me, it has been done), there is no harm in walking away from a conversation with them with a smile on your face. And when you act completely normally around them, there’s another reason to give yourself a pat on the back!
5. They’re like a celebrity crush you can actually interact with.
Unless they’re actually a celebrity, then they can be thought of as one that you just happen to interact with. Think of them as you would think of any droolworthy Hollywood hottie. You know you’ll never have a chance to be with those movie stars, let alone speak to them. Your crush is like them — only someone you happen to speak to. How exciting! Just don’t go putting them on a pedestal and worshipping them.
6. You can spend so much more time on yourself.
Your crush won’t care what you do either way, so your life becomes about you and what makes you happy. You can spend time on dental hygiene (true story there), going for a run/walk, practicing calligraphy. Literally anything that makes you happy.
7. Either way, you become better for it.
You will either come out a better person with or without them by your side. And either way, you’ll end up happy. You’ll be stronger, you’ll have known how it feels to love someone without expecting their love in return, and you’ll learn how to move on and mend your broken heart. So if you’re in this boat, just wait out the storm with me and you’ll come through all the stronger for it.