The End Of The Meet Cute: Why Romance Doesn’t Need To Be Like A Movie

I’m willing to lie about how we met.

This is a line I often see written on people’s online dating profiles when they’re trying to be funny and point out the obvious – that meeting online kind of sucks. It is a line that is anticipating the common desire for a more romantic “how we met” story: The desire for a meet-cute.

What Is A Meet-Cute?

A meet-cute is a scenario where two individuals meet for the first time in an unlikely, destined-for-each-other sort of way. A way in which you can’t help but feel may have been fate.

Oftentimes, a meet-cute involves some sort of funny or unique situation, butterflies in your stomach and an immediate spark.

Imagine being seated next to an eligible bachelor or bachelorette on an airplane, and bonding over both being scared of flying. You end up dating and falling in love . . .

. . . I’m usually seated next to screaming babies on airplanes, so if I was ever seated next to a cute eligible bachelor, I’d definitely consider that fate – and I would certainly consider that a meet-cute.

Romance Isn’t Always Like A Movie

In a Rom Com, the meet-cute is the scene where the Protagonist meets his or her love interest. For example, there’s a great meet-cute in the John Cusack movie Serendipity. He and Kate Beckinsale’s character meet at Bloomingdales during the busy Christmas season, after both reaching for the last pair of black cashmere gloves. The rest is history.

There’s just something ultra-romantic about meeting someone ‘accidentally’. Some unique or funny circumstance when you were least expecting it creates a great story. However, life isn’t at all like a movie, and that’s ok.

The only dating app I’ve used that has cleverly caught on to the fact that meeting online isn’t ideal for everyone is Happn. On Happn, you get to meet singles you’ve crossed paths with in real life. This creates more of a “missed connections” scenario and less of a “he swiped right” scenario. It feels like a more natural “how we met” story than most dating apps create, and the app alludes to the fact that you could have met in real life – you just narrowly missed each other. This way, it still sort of feels like ‘fate’.

It’s Getting Increasingly More Common To Meet Online

More and more people are meeting on dating sites or dating apps, resulting in less funny stories of “how the Bride met the Groom” being told at weddings. However, maybe that’s just fine. Perhaps an interesting story of how a couple met each other isn’t as important as some people think it is.

It is more likely these days that rather than paying attention to an eligible bachelor sitting next to you on an airplane, you will be too busy frantically getting as many messages sent on a dating app as possible before your plane begins take-off and you’re told to put your electronic device away.

Our generation is happily adapting to the growing popularity of online dating, and realizing that meeting online is normal and perfectly fine.

The same people you would meet on an airplane or at the grocery store are also on Happn. Is there someone you met recently who you were crushing on a bit? Perhaps that handsome sales rep from your meeting last week? If he or she is not already taken, the likelihood that you’ll find them on a popular dating app is quite high.

Your First Date Story Can Be Better Than Your “How We Met” Story

Perhaps some of us don’t have the cutest “how we met” story, but we could always tell the adorable or funny story of our first date instead. If you need a memory to cherish, cherish that one. Don’t place such high importance on the story of how you met someone, because it is not that relevant in the grand scheme of things.

Your Chemistry and Your Connection Matter The Most

Having great conversation, great laughs, and great chemistry with someone matters a whole lot more than a meet-cute. If the way you met was because he messaged you on a dating app, that’s fine! A cute story of how you met, or a funny first date story are both bonuses – but these stories pale in comparison to the bigger picture and the bigger story: the bond the two of you share, your amazing relationship, and where you ended up.

Erica Gordon is the author of Aren’t You Glad You Read This? The Complete How-To Guide for Singles with a History of Failed Relationships Who Want their Next Relationship to Succeed, available here.