Do you think you have good dating etiquette? Or, is it possible you have some bad habits that are making you undateable? If you consistently find yourself in almost-relationships or first dates that lead nowhere, it’s probably time to own up to some of these debilitating dating patterns. Dating is all about putting your best foot forward, so here are 7 unattractive habits you need to ditch in order to save your game:
1. Pounding back the cocktails.
We’ve all been on a bad date with someone who got wasted and was impossible to talk to because of their inebriation. Booze loosens us up, and a date can be nerve-wracking, so it’s understandable that we’d like the server to keep the drinks coming. However, getting wasted isn’t attractive and you’ll likely end up saying or doing something you regret. I recently went on a date with someone who ordered one beer, and 45 minutes into our date, his glass was still half-full. He was still on his first beer. He stood out because of his ability to enjoy spending time with me sober. He didn’t need booze to loosen his nerves, and he didn’t seem to need alcohol to have fun. It made me realize how many of my dates were the exact opposite. If you make it known that you have no hidden agendas that you think booze might enable, and no need to get drunk in order to enjoy yourself, you’ll stand out in a really great way. If you find that you’re unable to control your drinking, consider getting some external help to get a handle on things.
2. Failure to initiate.
Anyone who lacks the ability to initiate contact or doesn’t take the lead when it comes to planning a date is a frustrating person to be with. It’s irritating when someone always expects others to come up with the plans, which is why it’s appreciated when you take the lead and organize something awesome for a specific day of the week. Planning in advance is great, too – everyone loves notice.
3. Suggesting boring dates.
Taking the lead is only half the battle; you also need to come up with exciting and unique date ideas from time to time. Going for drinks, going for coffee, and watching a movie at home are mediocre dates that don’t require much thought. Instead, try getting creative and coming up with something that might actually be memorable – like a SuperDate – please and thank you.
4. Never asking any real questions.
This is a big one. Don’t just ask your date about their job, their dog or what they like to do for fun. This just proves that you’re not capable of real, deep or stimulating conversation. If you really want to stand out and impress your date, ask some real questions. Ask about their goals, dreams, fears, passions and proudest achievements. Showing a genuine interest in your date will go a long away, and people tend to light up when they’re discussing what’s most important in their life such as their goals and their passions.
5. Being distracted by other options.
If you meet someone special, how likely are you to stop using online dating sites altogether and just focus on that one person? What’s more likely, is that no matter how much you like the person you’re dating, you’ll still chat with others and explore other options. When you always think someone better is right around the corner, you’re allowing yourself to get distracted from the amazing person right in front of you. It’s your call, but just know that your inability to focus on him or her could completely screw things up for you. If you can break this habit and try dating one person at a time, that’s you giving it a real shot.
6. Being unreliable.
If you want to be deemed dateable, you need to stop being late, stop cancelling plans and stop changing plans (unless it’s a change in the form of an upgrade – in which case, that’s fine.) Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Everyone wants to date someone they can count on, and nobody wants to date someone who’s flaky.
7. A consistently negative attitude.
Many people are genuinely unaware that they come across negative, which is a big problem since a positive attitude is what’s attractive. Negative energy is a huge turn-off. The best way to figure out if this is a bad habit you’re guilty of is to answer the following questions: Do you tend to complain about stuff, or are you a grateful person? Are you rude to servers, or polite? Do you smile and laugh on dates, or are you always in a bad mood? Dating is supposed to be fun, so keep in mind that it’s positive people who are enjoyable to be around. Be careful how often you complain about what is going wrong in your life, and if you’re in a terrible mood all the time, you’re better off staying single until you get your house in order.
8. Second-guessing yourself.
We all have insecurities, but confidence is a learned behaviour. If you can portray confidence on a date, you’ll be that much sexier and that much more likely to secure his or her interest. Even if you think you’re dating out of your league, never second-guess yourself or act as though you’re not good enough. If you act as though you’re more than good enough, he or she will believe it too.