25 Ways You Know You’re Single

1.) You can do things that might require 2 people all by yourself.
• Moving huge boxes.
• Playing board games.
• Pleasuring one self.
• Taking a picture of your entire body without holding the camera.
• Zipping up zippers from the back of your outfits.
• Couple dancing with an invisible person.

2.) You’re the odd person out in your group of friends.
• The 5th wheel
• The 7th wheel
• The 9th wheel

3.) When you cook you know exactly how much to make for 1 person.

4.) When you only own 1 of each utensil: 1 fork, 1 spoon, 1 knife.

5.) When you realize you can just eat straight from the pot or drink straight from the carton/jug.

6.) When you can eat alone at restaurants.

7.) When you learn that you’re the only person eating alone at the restaurant.

8.) When you have legit conversations with your pet.

9.) When you cringe every time you hear about a relative, friend, or colleague getting married or having a baby, especially when they are younger than you.

10.) When you are contemplating on getting another pet.

11.) When you can eat an entire container of ice cream all by yourself, (straight from carton, no need for a bowl.)

12.) When you are sick and can barely get up and have to feed yourself medicine, cook your own soup, and take yourself to the doctor.

13.) When you feel better about someone’s break up, just so you can finally have someone to be single with.

14.) When every song about heart breaks and life speak to your very soul.

15.) You daydream about your imaginary boyfriend/girlfriend.

16.) When people ask you when you are getting married and you are like, “When I have someone to marry?” I am single, how the heck do you ask someone that?? It is as if getting married is equivalent to getting your nails done, or getting a haircut.

• “So, when are you getting your hair cut?”
“I don’t know, I think I might go do it tomorrow”

• “So, when are you getting married?”
“I don’t know, I think I might go do it tomorrow”

17.) When you start believing that maybe you are meant to be single forever.

18.) When you start planning your single future.

19.) When you still try to squeeze all your goals in a set time frame, in case you get married. Yet you are still single.

20.) When you compromise your ideal age for when you want to get married, because you are your ideal age now, and you’re not married and still single.

21.) When you plan your imaginary wedding, down to the music, food, and the place where you want it. Again you are still single.

22.) When you turn down someone for a date, and are paranoid that you might have lost “the one”.

23.) When you start questioning if you are being too picky?

24.) When you feel it might be karma.

25.) When you feel that you need to lower your standards or start accepting things that might be morally wrong to you because you can’t find anyone that is in your standards.