A smart woman knows that when she looks at herself in the mirror, it is never about what’s right or wrong or not enough. But instead she sees a precious person who is alive and whole and worth so much more than the sum of her parts.
She knows she is not her body, her face, her job, or her relationships with people. She knows she is never her mistakes, her scars, her insecurities or her past. She doesn’t let them define, constrain or hold her back. She turns them into strengths and motivations to become a better person each day.
Not only is she strong and courageous like that, a smart woman also makes sure she treats herself with care, respect and love.
While being real, open and honest, she accepts and stands up for everything she is, she was and has been, and never runs away from challenges. She strives to be independent but she knows the importance of having people to trust.
For her, life is too short to not do what she wants and be who she wants, and she doesn’t intend to waste any second of it. That’s why she’s so fun and daring.
She allows herself to let loose, to be all too much, to fall in love with people whom she shouldn’t fall for, to be silly and go on adventures, to follow her dreams and maybe even get lost.
Because she knows that’s how she learns and changes and goes beyond her limits. That’s how her heart races and her entire being is lifted up. And ultimately, that’s the way she experiences life to its fullest and deepens her capacity of love, empathy and compassion.
A smart woman is also aware of her privileges, disadvantages and weaknesses. She doesn’t try to hide them but she faces them and grows with them. She understands the power of her beauty and femininity as a woman, and she knows how to use it and embrace it while respecting and supporting other women and the men in her life all the same.
She’s proud of being a woman and all what it entails.
She reminds herself everyday to stay humble and grounded and be grateful for everything that she is given in life.
Importantly, a smart woman is true to herself and her feelings. She knows when to hold on and when to let go and she isn’t afraid to do either.
She isn’t afraid to admit when she wants a partner in her life, a heated body on her bed, cheesy words whispered into her ears, and sometimes, yes, she is lonely and she has her needs. Or even if she is fine without any of these things, she feels no urge to explain herself in any circumstance.
Because she’s smart, she’s clear about her desires and intentions — be it love, sex, romance, or even forbidden fantasies, and it’s how she’s able to find people who meet her expectations and are satisfied by what she’s capable of giving.
Though, being smart doesn’t mean she stops making mistakes in relationships — she will still do, and will still hurt herself occasionally — but she’s surely getting better at choosing her companions as she learns more and more about herself.
At least she knows better than proving her worth to the people who don’t appreciate her, or prioritizing those who only regard her as an option.
What she does instead is look for the quality ones who add value and laughter to her life, who become a positive force and push her forward. They are the people who see her and really see her. They bring out the best in her while cherishing her for all what she is.
Inevitably, there are times a smart woman, like any other woman, is clouded by her feelings and ends up being stupid. There will also be dark moments when she feels doubtful and stuck and hopeless to the point of losing her sense of self and even forgetting that she’s indeed a smart woman.
And so she’s convinced she’s no one and she’s no good.
But because she’s smart, she will know it’s not true. She will find out that there’s always a door to better days and as she opens her hand, the key has been there all along. Because it’s her, not anyone else, who decides whether she’s good or not.
As long as she keeps on believing that she has so much in her to offer and never gives up on a bright future ahead, at some point along the way, she will be able to make sense of the path she has walked, the destinations she has arrived to.
She will figure out what to do best with her time, and see clearly why certain things didn’t work out, or why she had never been sure and ready before. Then she will look back and she will start to realize maybe she has always been exactly where she needs to be.
Originally appeared on The Tingly Mind.