1. People never realize that just because the “straight” size should fit you in theory, you’re going to still need to get just as much stuff tailored as the women shopping the petite or tall collections.
2. Whenever you wear flats, people don’t give your height a second thought. You’re just… there. A body. Not remarkable in any way. Not petite or statuesque. Just “average.” (You want a compelling adjective, too!)
3. Except for guys, who for some reason, tend to appreciate your size in the sense that they’re still taller than you and that makes them feel that much bigger, beefier, manlier, etc.
4. But the second you put on heels, it’s like, whoa, I never realized you were so tall, attack of the 50-foot woman, no, stop it.
5. Your height is always juuuuust too short to reach the top shelf.
6. And unless you have the face and general Kate Mossiness of Kate Moss, your childhood dreams of being a model were all but entirely dashed.
7. Never once did you ever get to be in the front or the very top row of a group photo. You were always in the middle, another face of the crowd.
8. Every time you see “short girls” or “tall girls” posts or paraphernalia, you’ve felt slightly left out. Where is your due?
9. Your legs largely regard shorts as either being minuscule, booty-baring excuses for underwear, or something to rival the sagging tents guys from the mid-90s used to rock. There is no middle ground.
10. You never think it’s possible for things to make you look stumpy… And then you try on tea-length dresses.
11. Leggings either expose your ankle and about three inches of leg, or basically come with built-in socks for your entire foot. (Which you understand are problems tall and short women face, respectively, but would it kill the leggings manufacturers of the world to offer you a little consistency?)
12. You know all the ways people whisper about celebrities “being shorter in person”? You secretly wonder if people feel that way about you.
13. There’s always that one group of people whom you hang out with and realize, “Oh. Oh, this is what it feels like to be short.”
14. And the group of people with whom you feel gigantically, oafishly, comically huge.
15. The guilt that comes with wondering if this would be someone with whom you could wear heels and still be shorter than them. Size really shouldn’t matter, you keep telling yourself, but it might not hurt to date Alexander Skarsgard and just know that no matter what your shoe choices, you’ll still be shorter than him.
16. Instead of finding your body on the “petite” or “tall” body maps, you always get stuck with some awkward title, like the apple or the triangle. (Aren’t we all just body-shaped?)
17. And though you know you shouldn’t, deep down, you kind of resent the really, really short girls who seem to exclusively date guys over 6 feet tall.