1. Buying jeans. Or shorts. (Or, god forbid, jean shorts.) Because if there is one thing you know, it is that you either find a pair of pants that you can successfully get over your thighs but are left with the waist gap to end them all, or the waist fits but everything else looks like you sausaged yourself into cloth casing within an inch of your life.
2. People who warn you to not get “too muscular.” And you know they mean well, that they think they’re trying to help you, to save you, to keep you from becoming less feminine or something, but then you’re also like “… I like my muscles, they do cool things, what are you trying to…” and then you decide not to listen to them because it’s your body and you get to call the shots on what you do with it and what it looks like as a result.
3. Places that do not consider leggings or yoga pants to be appropriate attire. Especially when spandex-based clothing makes up approximately 45% of what you own. And why wouldn’t it? It’s all so comfy.
4. Resting bitch-face’s cousin: intense-angry-game-on face. You could be playing skeeball at your local dive bar on a Saturday night and have absolutely zero cares in the world, but it’s how you’re conditioned — the minute anything remotely turns into a competition, it is war and you are taking everyone down with you. Call it a side effect of constantly pushing yourself in every other athletic endeavor, most of which wind up being competition-based in some way or another.
5. Chances are good you can’t stop talking about eating, and a lot of people are beginning to think this is all part of playing into the “oh, look at how much I’m eating!” sham, but like, no. Really. You eat that much. It’s your fuel. And you like talking about it.
6. Whenever someone tells you that you don’t need to work out so much, because you look great as is. If you’re on a team or play a sport — or hell, if you just really like to run or bike or lift or whatever it is you do — you’re not necessarily doing this for how you look. (It might be like 10% for how you look, but the other 90% is based on how you feel, and how you manage your stress, and the friendships you make on your team, and your health, and the fact that you’re just having fun.)
7. People who say they would join you, but they don’t like to sweat. You’re aware that they created showers for this reason, right?
8. Often, you’re not only athletic, but you’re also deeply into sports. And, well, that’s its own can of worms. (But for the record, no, it isn’t an act.)
9. On a related note, people think you’re athletic to impress some guy. When A) no, you’re doing this for you, and B) hitting on someone at the gym is easily one of the most annoying things to ever happen while you’re focused. (And if people expect you to skimp on your morning workout to spend the night, they really have another thing coming. Because no, you will get up and still make that morning class and you will not apologize for it.)
10. Checking to make sure there’s a gym if you go on a business trip or on vacation. Because for all the people who pack a pair of running shoes in their suitcase with the vain hopes that they’ll use them, there’s always that one person who actually does. And that person is you.
11. People seem genuinely shocked when you wear a dress or heels – or god forbid, both. And to be honest, you feel a little out of place whenever you get dolled up or wear makeup or actually, y’know, put in effort, but this is you, too. You can be both things! People need to stop gawking as if that’s weird, because it really isn’t. (Though, you do miss the comfort of your Nikes when you’re on hour 3 of your stiletto takeover.)
12. You still personally identify with Sporty Spice and feel like maybe she got the raw end of the deal.
13. Needing to postpone plans until after you can make that workout class or training session, the act of which you are so seasoned at doing that people don’t even bat an eye when you explain you can make it like an hour, an hour and a half later than they first suggested…?
14. There are more sports bras than regular bras in any given load of laundry. At all times.
15. Friends have stopped asking you for ideas on what to do when you hang out. Because either you’ll suggest you all hit up a SoulCycle class, or going for a walk in the park, or heading to a healthy restaurant for brunch, and are thus trying to trick them into being active. You’re not trying to imply anything about your friends’ health. You just like to move. If being the Energizer bunny is wrong, you don’t want to be right.
16. Somewhere in the deep recesses of your Tumblr search history are a few covert faves on a fitspiration blog, and if pressed, you would not mind having that perfectly curated, Lululemon and organic raw chia pudding life.
17. And the next time somebody challenges you about your strength, ability, or whether you’d be able to hold your own against a guy, you’re sincerely going to take them on. Because yeah, your workout is a legitimately hard thing, and anyone who thinks it’s not has no idea what they’re talking about.