25 Mistakes To Avoid When Trying to Get Your Ex Back

Jesse Herzog
Jesse Herzog

Breakups are tricky. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy say and do things that we don’t mean.

If you want a shot with your ex in the future, making your breakup as amicable and graceful as possible will improve your chances.

Avoid doing these 25 things if you don’t want to be known as “the crazy ex” and have zero chance of getting back together:

1. Inventing bizarre reasons to contact them.
“Oh… so I need to stop by to get my facial cleanser back.”

2. “Accidentally” (on purpose) running into them.
“Weird, I was randomly in your neighborhood, 25 miles away from my house.”

3. Constantly hanging out at places you used to go together.
“This is MY bar.”

4. Trying to get revenge.
“I’m going to get back at him for saying that THING”

5. Destroying your ex’s stuff.

6. Talking to your ex’s friends about them.
“So… I wanted to talk to you about your buddy. What’s he up to?”

7. Contacting your ex’s parents.
“I wanted to call to see if your daughter is okay, since she broke up with me last Tuesday.”

8. Trying to apologize for everything that went wrong.
“IT’S AALLLLLLLLLL MY FAULT! I have failed you in every way imaginable.”

9. Emotional outbursts.
Ever sobbed loudly in the Target makeup aisle? I have.

10. Stalking (cyber or otherwise).
“I’m going to just see what he’s up to…”

11. Deleting your ex on social media, then using your friend’s profile to see what they are up to.
“Hey, we’ve got to find out who that mystery man commenting on her profile is…”

12. Comparing yourself to his exes before you.
“I think I’m sooo much hotter than his ex, Eileen.”

13. Looking at old pictures of you together.
“We looked so perfect together!”

14. Initiating awkward “WHY?” conversations.
“WHHHYYYYYYY did you give up on us???”

15. Gossiping about your ex.
“I heard that she’s getting breast implants.”

16. “Accidentally” texting them.
You: “Hey sexy.”

Your ex: “Um… Hi?”

You: “Oops, that was meant for someone else.”

17. Obsessively staying in contact.
“I just wanted to let you know, I’m going to the dry cleaners.”

18. Refusing to accept reality.
“It’s not over until I say it’s over.”

19. Getting jealous and acting it out.
“I just can’t handle that you have a dog that you love more than me!”

20. Trying to make your ex jealous.
“I’ll just have all of these girls from the club tag me in their photos. My ex will see them on Facebook. I’ll show her what she’s missing out on.”

21. Creating elaborate theories about your ex.
“I think he’s secretly gay.”

22. Plotting ways to drive your ex’s new flame away.
“I’m just going to call her new boyfriend and tell him they have to stop dating.”

23. Drunk dialing.
“I wanted to *hic* tell you that *hic* I MISS U BABE”

24. Suggesting “Ex Sex”
“So.. wanna get together?”

25. Using the idea that you “have nothing left to lose” to justify any other behavior you know is wrong.
“It doesn’t matter anymore, I’m going to go to his house and cry on his doorstep. Then he’ll finally know it’s meant to be.”

When you’re trying to get your ex back, cool, calm and collected is the best way to handle yourself during every single interaction from now on, forever. They can’t miss you and start to fantasize about wanting you back if you’re smothering them and sacrificing your self respect.

It sounds strange, but to have the potential to get back together, you actually need to get over them so that you can both have a fresh start later on. Without clearing out the baggage from the old relationship, the hurt and resentment will just bubble back into your pairing once the relationship takes off again.

I hate to admit it, but after past heartbreak, I’ve done some of the things on this list– so if you have too.. I can understand why it happens. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

This post originated on Attract the One.

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