Ever wondered if you were doing things to turn your partner off without even realizing it?
These turnoffs are not gender specific, both men and women are turned off by these things, however some of them are more upsetting to women than men and vice versa.
Are you daring your partner to break up with you by doing these things?
1. Lack Of Appreciation
Ever had someone not seem to care or notice all of the little things you did for them? It’s a super common complaint and feels miserable.
Women cite lack of appreciation as a relationship killer more often than anything else on this list. Why? Because after a while the unappreciated partner feels like they don’t matter to the other person. Love turns into resentment and the relationship begins to crash and burn. Ever heard that phrase, “the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference?” When you don’t notice the little sacrifices and things the other person does for you on a daily basis, it sows deep seeds of resentment.
2. Lack Of Happiness/Being Unappeasable
Conversely, men report that they are more often to end a relationship over not being able to make their partner happy.
Happiness is an aphrodisiac for men. Have you ever heard a man say to you, “no matter what I do, you aren’t happy?” Ruh, roh. This one is so insidious because often your partner may inadvertently internalize your general complaints and criticisms as his fault, especially if he can’t solve them. It also is not a dramatic change that anyone can point to and say, “well one day, she just wasn’t happy ever again.” Unhappiness erodes men’s confidence in their ability to please their partners over time.
This is why it becomes doubly important to cultivate an atmosphere of happiness and lightness in your relationship. If you aren’t happy, he isn’t happy. Keep it in mind when you’re sharing your disappointment and discontent; regardless of whether it is his fault or not.
Both genders are guilty of getting bossy and ordering their partners around. Healthy communication about your wants and needs is encouraged. Sometimes how you deliver the message is the main issue, other times it’s the negative energy behind the message.
If you are used to being in control and super efficient at work, perhaps it’s time to give yourself a little time to transition when you get home. I have found for myself that often, just grabbing a few minutes to yourself in between activities to allow for a graceful transition can help you change from boss to loving partner.
4. Weight Gain/Letting Yourself Go
Both genders are heavily guilty of this one. It’s so common to get into a relationship and gain a few pounds or start wearing sweats all the time and start thinking that it isn’t too big of a deal. Often people spiral downward together only to wake up one day and realize that they are both are 20 pounds heavier and need serious improvements to their hygiene and wardrobe.
Come on, you know how to fix this one ;).
Nagging obviously isn’t fun for the nagger or the nagged. It sets up an uncomfortable situation where one person feels like they have suddenly regressed back to childhood with their Mom nagging them to pick up their socks. The nagger feels like the nagged just isn’t pulling their weight in one way or another. Not a sexy dynamic.
So not only should you try and make an effort to stop nagging if you are prone to it, but if you are the nagged, it’s time to start looking at how you can help, remember details and generally make your partner feel more taken care of. Having been on the receiving end of both nagging and as the nagger, its dynamic becomes a habit between a couple.
6. Discounting Mutual Friend Time
A great relationship takes hobbies, outside interests and strong friendships. If you are struggling to keep the spark alive, understand that both of you might just need time apart— the good kind. Maintaining your friendships and allowing your partner time to maintain theirs helps provide the air that any relationship needs to thrive.