The Silent Struggle Of Being Constantly Criticized

After years in a relationship where criticism from your partner becomes the default response to even the smallest things, you start to question your own worth.

You begin to wonder if maybe you should have added just a little more salt to the pasta, if your driving is really so awful that it makes him feel like he’s going to throw up during a short 5-minute drive with you behind the wheel. And somewhere deep down, you know that he’d probably enjoy all these things with someone else, someone who doesn’t get weighed down by constant judgment.

So, you bring up your feelings, but of course, your reaction is the crazy one. He twists everything, makes you feel like you’re the one overreacting, and somehow, you start to believe it. You start to wonder if maybe you are insane. Maybe you’re imagining things. But deep down, you know. You know this isn’t how it’s supposed to feel. Still, you start to doubt yourself.

So, you stop sharing. It’s easier that way. If you don’t say anything, you can’t be criticized. If you don’t try, you won’t be put down. You become numb to the little things you once celebrated, because the cost of sharing them is always a jab, a dismissal, a glance that says everything you do is just… not enough.

But then, it hits you. You feel the loneliness creep in, because, as much as you enjoy your own company, life wasn’t meant to be lived in isolation. It wasn’t meant to be a constant act of proving yourself to someone who will never see you for all that you are. You start to envy the couples around you—the ones who compliment each other and seem infatuated with one another.

And you wonder, what would it be like to be seen like that? To be loved like that?

So, you start finding refuge in writing. At least on paper, you can express everything that’s been suffocating inside. Sometimes, when the pain becomes too much to carry, you mask it with alcohol, just enough to make the sharp edges dull for a while. Just enough to make it through the night.

You have everything you ever thought you wanted. You’re successful, accomplished, respected. You have a family, a career, a life that looks perfect on the outside. Yet, deep inside, you feel empty. You feel like you’re constantly striving for something that feels just out of reach, a validation that never comes. You’re successful, but it doesn’t feel like enough. You’ve done everything you were supposed to do, yet you feel like you’ve failed at the one thing that matters most: being seen, being valued, being loved the way you deserve.

But maybe, just maybe, it’s time to stop searching for approval in places that don’t deserve it. Maybe it’s time to learn what it means to value yourself, even when the world, and the person who should love you the most, fails to. Because in the end, the love you give to yourself is the only one that can fill the empty spaces they leave behind.