100 Ways To Be Flawless

43. Find a trait in a person that drives you wild. A trait you love, something completely different from their overall appearance. Love the way a person blinks, or laughs, or cries. Love them for the tiny things.

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1. Own up to your mistakes. Because God knows we all make them, and you should not expect another person to take responsibility for yours.

2. Forgive people when they apologize. Because we all make mistakes and deserve to be pardoned for them.

3. Forget people if an apology is not enough. Lauren Conrad once said “I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you.” And nothing has ever been more true. Just because you forgive people does not mean you have to keep them around.

4. Learn to tolerate people. You won’t like everyone, and that’s okay. But that’s no reason to be rude.

5. Love people with all your heart. Because it’s the best thing we can do in this lifetime.

6. Do anything for anyone. If someone you’re only moderately friends with asks you for help, help them. Because we’re all just humans and sometimes we need some extra help.

7. Don’t do things with the expectation of a reward. You deserve a “thank you,” but that’s nota reason to help someone either. Do it just to do it.

8. Listen to good music. The kind that makes your heart race.

9. Wear clothes you feel good in. It doesn’t matter if they’re in style, it matters that you like them.

10. Laugh at yourself. Find humor in your greatest mistakes.

11. Learn from your mistakes. Along with humor, find lessons that will help you later in life.

12. Don’t regret your mistakes. Not because they taught you a lesson, but because that decision is cliché. Don’t regret your mistakes because there is absolutely nothing you can do to change them, and you deserve better than that pit in your stomach every time you think about them.

13. Never leave a friend alone. It doesn’t matter how drunk they are. It doesn’t matter how crazy they are. It doesn’t matter if you’ve reached a point where you can no longer help them. Never leave a friend alone in a situation, or alone in life.

14. Accept that some people want tattoos on their body. And accept that some people don’t. And accept that beauty is only skin deep.

15. Forget what race people are. No one is “pretty for a black girl” or “smart for a white girl.” We are all beautiful, intelligent, and kind humans and the color of our skin should have no relevance to anything.

16. Find a book that you can call your favorite. The kind that draws you into the story and makes the characters part of your life.

17. Find a movie to watch on rainy days. It doesn’t have to be your favorite movie; it has to be a snuggle kind of movie.

18. Find a role model worth being. Don’t strive to be a pill-popping actress who sleeps with presidents, regardless of how pretty her quotes look in cursive font. Strive to be an Audrey Hepburn, a Jackie Kennedy, or even a Michelle Obama.

19. Love your parents. Even if they failed you, at least they tried. And at least they loved you enough to try and fail. And at the very least, they gave you life.

20. Find a favorite place. Where you can escape the world when the world gets too much.

21. Be rational. Don’t get upset over things not worth getting upset about, and don’t be mad at people for something they didn’t do. Be rational with your emotions.

22. Don’t blame people for things they cannot control. Because that is unfair and if you were in their position, you’d realize how unfair it is.

23. Talk about your problems when you have them. Because bottling things up gets you nowhere.

24. Tell people when you’re angry with them. Don’t assume they know, and don’t just be angry with them. Talk to them and explain the problem.

25. Don’t pretend you understand sports if you don’t. Life’s too short to pretend you know what a touchdown is.

26. Don’t like a sports team just to like them, or just because you’re from their state. Because no one really
cares, and the true fans will hate you.

27. Travel the world. Because it’s bigger than your suburban town.

28. Get lost somewhere. It may be dangerous at times but it’s worth roaming the streets of a pretty city for a while.

29. Be dirt poor, but be happy. As long as you’re happy, money doesn’t matter.

30. Pay people the money you owe them. Because eventually it adds up, and it’s the right thing to do.

31. Accept that people drink alcohol. Even if you don’t, don’t judge someone else for it.

32. Accept that people drink alcohol before they’re 21. And that’s just part of being a kid.

33. Realize someone’s pain is more than you know. If you believe a girl lies when she says she’s fine, believe that she probably hurts more than you know.

34. Don’t believe everything on the Internet. Obviously.

35. Understand that life is too short to lose the people you care about. And if someone makes you happy, maybe you should take the bad along with the good.

36. But if the bad is too much, don’t be afraid to lose people. Because if they don’t make you happy, you deserve to live free of them.

37. Take everything with a grain of salt. And don’t sweat the small stuff.

38. Don’t insult someone’s family member. They’re allowed to mock them as much as they want, but will always remember and be insulted by the time you joined in.

39. Don’t insult someone’s job. Because they work hard for a living.

40. Don’t insult someone’s education. Especially if they’re working hard for it and it’s all they can afford. Because at least they’re on the pursuit of knowledge.

41. Always be on the pursuit of knowledge. Never allow yourself to stop learning, or stop wanting to learn.

42. Love people for who they are. Not what they look like.

43. Find a trait in a person that drives you wild. A trait you love, something completely different from their overall appearance. Love the way a person blinks, or laughs, or cries. Love them for the tiny things.

44. Find someone who makes you laugh. Someone who makes you throw your head back and cackle in the most unattractive way. Someone who makes you happy.

45. Learn to make others laugh. At no one’s expense. Learn to make people laugh without hurting others, because that could be one of the greatest talents we could possess.

46. Find a best friend. Find a soul mate in another human being that you can trust with your entire heart. And don’t ever be in a romantic relationship with them. Just find a friend who, if called upon, would pick up the phone at 2am and be at yours within minutes.

47. Be the kind of friend who will pick up the phone at 2am. Because someone out there deserves a friend like that, and it should be you.

48. Live in a terrible apartment. But make what happens inside be unforgettable.

49. Be happy wherever you are. Living in a terrible apartment shouldn’t change your happiness.

50. Understand that if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. Don’t tip toe around your relationship with the fear that you may ruin it. If it’s meant to last, it will last despite your setbacks.

51. Never cheat. Because it is the most selfish thing we can do in this lifetime.

52. Do not lie. Because you will be caught.

53. Don’t retaliate, and don’t seek revenge. Be known for being kind, and for biting your tongue. People will respect you for it, and resent the other person more.

54. Desire to be known for something great. For your humor or your grace or your kindness. Desire for the world to remember you by something absolutely perfect.

55. Love animals. Because they never fail to love us.

56. Love the flaws in humans. Because we’re all perfect in an imperfect world.

57. Think of the one thing you could do every day for the rest of your life. And do it. Even if you can’t make it your living, even if you can only do it once in a while; find something that you love to do.

58. Be goofy or stupid without fear of people laughing at you. Because as long as you can laugh at yourself, people laughing at you will never matter.

59. Forgive yourself for your own mistakes. Because we all make them and they do not define you.

60. Treat people well. You can’t control much in life, but you can control how you treat people. Treat people with kindness, despite how they treat you.

61. Understand that a person’s relationship preferences are out of your control. If you don’t agree with homosexuality, then don’t agree with homosexuality. But don’t for a single second think that your opinion of them will change or affect them. Just mind your business.

62. Love people despite their greatest flaws. And hope they have the courtesy to do the same.

63. Know that you deserve an apology, but be willing to forgive people without one. It’s okay to wait for an apology until any type of friendship can restart, but forgive people for their actions without them asking. Because, again, people make mistakes.

64. Learn to live without technology. Live off the grid, and go a day without people knowing your every move. It’s liberating.

65. Own as many comfortable clothes as possible. Because rainy days need comfort.

66. Forget about birthdays. It’s okay to love to celebrate your birthday and to be happy doing it. But remember it’s just a day and it isn’t the end of the world if it isn’t perfect.

67. Don’t be ashamed of loving a person. Don’t be ashamed of loving a person because of their gender, because of their race, because of their background, because of their reputation, or because they’ve hurt you. Love people because you love, not because you should love them.

68. Don’t strive to be skinny. Strive to be comfortable in your own skin.

69. Don’t hate yourself if you don’t have curves. Accept that you were born with the body type that you have, and that being skinny or curvy does not determine your beauty.

70. Remember that you don’t have to look skinny to look good. Because some types of clothing don’t even look good on skinny girls, and you should not think you have to be tiny to be pretty.

71. Don’t wear too much makeup. Because you’ll regret it when you’re thirty, and no amount of selfies you took in high school will change that.

72. Love someone without having sex with him or her. Love them for more than their body.

73. Love someone for his or her body. Love them for their mind and then fall in love with every inch of them.

74. Allow yourself to be so attracted to a person that just being in his or her presence is perfection. Allow yourself to be attracted to their body and their mind and their laugh and their smell. Love a human being so much that nothing is unattractive about them.

75. Do not fear being alone. And do not rush into things just because you’re alone.

76. Thank people for their sacrifices. I don’t care if you don’t believe in war, but at least love the soldiers who fight for you. And I don’t care if you resent your parents, but love them for the things they gave up for you.

77. Allow yourself to be a child. And enjoy being young while you are.

78. Allow yourself to be mature when necessary. And know these necessary moments.

79. Never forget where you came from. And the memories that you made there. Because no one’s childhood was perfect, but it made us who we are. Never forget to be nostalgic.

80. Never forget the little things. Remember the sound of your father coming home from work at night. Remember the warmth on the first spring day you could open your car windows. Remember the way your kitchen light glowed at night when you walked up the stairs to bed.

81. Take care of yourself. Take care of your hair, and your skin, and your body, and your heart.

82. Don’t forget your first heartbreak. Because it shaped your future relationships.

83. Don’t let your first or second or even third heartbreak ruin your future relationships. Heartbreaks will change how you perceive relationships, but don’t let it ruin them. Let another man teach you how to be treated.

84. Learn how to enjoy beer. And learn how to cherish the summer nights on your porch.

85. Learn how to enjoy wine. And learn how to cherish the nights with your mom in the kitchen, when she finally let you drink alcohol under her roof.

86. Respect your parents’ wishes. Because they want what’s best for you.

87. Respect your friends’ decisions. You don’t have to agree with them. It’s their life. But love them anyway.

88. Learn how to do something cool. Something to whip out during a lull at parties. Learn how to rap a stupid song or how to flick a beer bottle cap across the room. Learn how to win at poker or learn how to French braid hair.

89. Fight for things you believe in. And hope that one day, things will be just.

90. Don’t just say; do. Don’t disagree with something to the point where you always complain, but then do nothing about it. Do something.

91. Don’t say you’re a hippie just because you smoke weed. Just don’t.

92. Always try. Don’t accept defeat if you haven’t truly tried.

93. Don’t insult peoples’ hometowns, or home states. Because those are the places that raised them.

94. Find a place that makes your favorite food. A place that isn’t a chain restaurant, a place where they’ll know your order by heart.

95. Find someone who loves how you crinkle your nose. And loves that you love a good book and superhero movies.

96. Learn how to cuddle. And learn how to love a moment so wholeheartedly for the sole reason that that person is in your arms.

97. Learn when it’s time to move on. But as you move on from something, never forget how perfect things where while they were still perfect.

98. Know when to bite your tongue. Just because you have opinions, doesn’t mean everyone needs to hear them.

99. Think about more than just yourself. Because there are other people in this world.

100. Make your own decisions in life. If you don’t agree with a list on Thought Catalog, don’t do what it says. Make your own decisions in life, but make them in a way that is selfless and perfect. Treat people well and hope they will treat you well in return. And make decisions you will be proud of. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Eileen James

Trying very hard not to be a cliche white girl. So far it isn’t working.