I’m not even going to try denying it, but anxiety is one of the most horrible emotions a person could feel.
It’s more than just worrying;
It’s palpitations leading to panic attacks.
It’s not being able to breathe in the middle of nowhere, and not being able to do anything about it.
It’s not being able to have caffeine before a huge presentation in class or else your anxiety would take over.
It’s having the most self-destructive thoughts at night and feeling overwhelmed by every negative emotion that there is.
It’s feeling the weakest and most vulnerable person on the planet, no matter how strong you’ve made yourself to be.
It’s learning to be alone because you’ve trained your mind that nobody could love you throughout every panic attack and throughout every dark and twisted thought you’re ever gonna have.
And that’s when it hits you when you least expected it; somebody is going to fall in love with both the darkness and light that consumes you and they’re gonna love you more because of it.
I know nobody has ever told you this before, but your anxiety is the core reason you are such a lovable human being. You radiate so much love around you, willing to give it up without asking for anything in return. I know you think it’s a curse, being able to feel everything too deeply, but it’s not.
Someday, someone out there is going to love you even when they’re holding you close during every panic attack at night.
They’re going to take care of you and tell you all these beautiful things such as they really love you and that they’re not going to leave you. And you know what? They’re going to mean every word they say.
Anxiety can be a bitch, but it doesn’t mean you have to go through the rest of your anxious annoying life alone. Anxiety doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t find someone who will stay through every episode of anxiety you’ll ever have because it doesn’t work that way.
I know what you’re thinking- how do I know this?
Because I’ve lived most of my life with anxiety, and I was lucky enough to find someone who holds me close at night, someone who plays with my hair and hugs me so tight until I find it in me to breathe again.
Sometimes, love doesn’t necessarily find you in the light because most of the time, real love can be found even in darkness.