You’re dating a great guy. But, he has this one huge flaw that is grating your nerves — he keeps talking about his ex, all the time!
Whether you’re boyfriend is remembering his ex fondly, or he can’t stop talking about how much he hates her … nothing is a bigger romance killer than being dragged down this particular memory lane.
Not only do you not want to hear about her, each story he relays to you about some previous moment he had with her immediately deletes those experiences off your bucket list with him!
Should you just dump him and walk away? (After all, if he’s still hung up on her, he’s obviously not giving 100 percent of himself to you.) Or, do you cut him some slack and give him a chance to shift out behavior that’s holding the two of you back?
Here are a few ways to snap him out focusing on his past with her so he can focus on the present (and possible future) …. with you:
1. Remind him that she’s history.
Hindsight is 20/20, but if he looks in the rearview mirror all day, he’ll miss the road ahead. Invite him to focus on the present situation which is “You and Me.”
2. Ask him to ditch all reminders of her.
Respectfully ask him to remove pictures of her from his home, phone, and social media so he can stop reminiscing his past. Those reminders are no longer needed.
3. Help him see the situation from your perspective.
Ask him how he would feel if you continually talked about your ex. This alone usually helps drive the point home.
4. Set clear boundaries (and hold your ground).
Tell him that you’re not OK with him continually speaking about his past relationship. Point out that his behavior may indicate he still needs time alone to heal. Make sure he knows that if he doesn’t stop, you have no choice but to walk away.
If your man is constantly bringing up a past love, he likely still has unresolved feelings for his ex or he hasn’t healed properly from that relationship. Men also talk about past loves to boost their confidence or when they feel nostalgic.
Regardless, no woman wants to hear a guy gabbing about an old flame no matter what the reason. It raises red flags for good reason. If he continues to live in the past, your only choice is to move on because your relationship with him has no future.