You Should Fall In Love With God, Not Me

Whatever you do, I beg of you, please don’t fall in love with me.

Don’t fall in love with me. I’m imperfect, a disaster trying to fix and heal from the wounds of the past. I am far from the ideal girl with a beautiful smile painted on rose lips.

Don’t fall in love with me. I’m a messy girl who can’t live without a little chaos. Some say I’m too much of a free thinker that challenges limits too often. I will push your buttons with the mess I frequently leave behind.

Don’t fall in love with me. I’m too independent, and tend to do things my way. I have a lot of ambitions and goals; some would say I dream too big and too much. I would rarely ask for you to hold my hand as I conquer my fears and reach for my dreams, and check off my bucket list. You might think that I don’t trust you, but it’s completely on me and my need for independence.

Don’t fall in love with me. I’m​ lazy and sometimes disorganized. I procrastinate when I know I have time. I’m a long way from fixing it, and I don’t want someone to fix it for me.

Don’t fall in love with me. I won’t shower you with compliments, instead deflate your ego. I’m​ too blunt for my own good sometimes. And, I am aware of it. I will say if you’re doing great and tell you your good qualities, but I won’t sugarcoat your BS.

Don’t fall in love with me. I love weird things. I gush about stationary, not clothes. I prefer reading books or stargazing, than going out for fancy dates. I’m a nerd and will probably embarrass you at how proud I am to be one. I like vintage things too much, and it would probably bore you.

Don’t fall in love with me. I am complex. I don’t usually let my emotions be known. I’ve learned how to sort them out and ignore them. I might come off as apathetic. I like extremes. I am completely adventurous, but I am also very feminine. I do martial arts and bake at the side. It would probably confuse you at how far away these activities are in the spectrum.

Don’t fall in love with me. I’m not a perfect lady. I curse, and act spoiled sometimes. I am unapologetic about who I am. I am raw and unfiltered. I cry too easily and laugh too heartily.

Don’t fall in love with me. I might break your heart. I might have tricked you into thinking at how ideal and carefree I am. I might let your expectations down, the more you get to know me.

Don’t fall in love with me. I easily feel inadequate and blame myself. You might think of me overreacting and assuming things, because I have a constant anxiety that I have done something to offend you when you act out of character.

Don’t fall in love with me. Because I have a hard time reciprocating feelings, and understanding them. You might end up hoping for nothing. And I don’t want that.

Don’t fall in love with me. I have given the key to my heart to God, and He’s going to be the one to show me who I should fall in love with. I’m not going to compromise my faith for a fleeting emotion that I am unsure of. I don’t want you to get hurt and disappointed.

Don’t fall in love with me. I won’t be able to reciprocate your feelings completely and wholly. I am still learning on how to do such a thing. And I do not want to do it for someone else, but Him.

Don’t fall in love with me. I have learned my lesson and I am wary about anything related to romance. I will definitely test your patience and make you wait.

Don’t fall in love with me. I am far from perfect.

Don’t fall in love with me. Rather, fall in love with Him. Because unlike me, He can love you fully and unconditionally without any second thoughts.