5 Signs You Are Obsessed With Yourself

We’ve all had a love affair going on for quite some time now – and it’s been with Numero Uno. You have a crush on yourself, and here is why:

1. You are huddled around your phone with a group of friends. You just had some photos taken during your night out and are feeling compelled to let the world know about it. You come across a shot where everyone else looks like complete and utter dog shit, but YOU, you look AMAZING. You exclaim, “I really like this one!” Directly ignoring the rest of the group’s closed eyes, open mouths and general lack of a chin. You unleash the photo on the masses with a caption along the lines of “fun times” or “love my girls.” Let’s be honest. We’ve all been there, and moving forward let’s hashtag all of these photos #lookatme.

2. Would you ever work out at a gym that did not have any mirrors? Would you ever go to a yoga studio where you couldn’t observe yourself hitting that upward facing dog? Probably not, and neither would I. We like to see ourselves, we like to evaluate progress, and we love to look good. So, the next time that you catch yourself trying to sneak a glimpse of your reflection out of the corner of your eye – don’t. Instead, square up to the mirror, look yourself in the eyes, tell yourself how good you look, and how well you are doing. Own it. Besides, we all know you bought those Lululemon pants because they were a little bit see through.

3. Forget the mirrors and windows that you stare at yourself in while shopping, I want to talk about the stores that have the camera and television that you see yourself in when you enter. This is where I most commonly see a grown ass adult transformed instantly into a toddler. You step into the screen, you step out, then you step back into the picture. You puff up your cheeks, stick out your tongue, then return 10 minutes later just to make sure that you are still there. It’s amazing really. We are fascinated at the sight of our own self doing everyday activities. Next time you are riding that escalator, walking through the door, or just passing by the window with the T.V. camera in it, just watch and see how many of us stop and admire. It’s nothing to be ashamed of – take your time.

4. Fifty one percent of the reason you ever go to the restroom is not to use the toilet. No matter how badly you’ve got to go, there is always time to do a little visual maintenance. You fix the hair, flex a muscle, repair the makeup, and pop that third eye of a pimple. If your bathroom had a time clock, you would be employee of the month. We all do it, our first meeting of the day is with ourselves – and first impressions are everything.

5. We can’t have this discussion without mentioning the notorious “Selfie.” You just took a picture of literally only your face and put it on the internet. Why? It’s simple. In the infamous words of Ron Burgundy, “Hey everyone, come and see how good I look!” That’s it. Pure and simple. The picture isn’t of the corner of your kid’s head, or the yellow pixel that you are calling the sunset. It is of your face, and you want everyone to have the privilege of casting eyes on it. Make sure you use the right filter.

This behavior may seem narcissistic, but I chalk it up to one very simple fact, you will never in your lifetime see yourself with your own eyes. Every chance you get to see your reflection is like meeting yourself for the first time. Enjoy it, appreciate it, and most of all make it the best version of yourself that you can. No one else is going to do it for you.

I’d love to hear your own examples of some blatant self-infatuation below.