Thought Catalog

5 Reasons Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You

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There are a few important, mind boggling questions that we face throughout life: What came first, the chicken or the egg? Creation or Evolution? Will Angelina Jolie’s fellatio put you in a week-long coma? But on a daily basis, women worldwide raise Kleenex’s stock whilst asking the eternal question, “Why did he cheat on me?”

Put that wrist knife down and settle yourself. You no longer have to scour the planet or hone your psychic abilities to reach a conclusion. I have been kind enough to put all the possibilities as to why he was engaging in extra-curricular intercourse into five points. Please do not hesitate to ask for my PayPal email should you decide to make a donation. However, before we delve into the results from my meticulous scientific observations, l’d like to make a point. I am not justifying men cheating, but it seems rather ridiculous for women to discombobulate when the act occurs as if it hasn’t been occurring since the beginning of time. King David had a throng of consorts as he completed the Lord’s work, and you’re foolish if you believe Mufasa was playing the monogamous role whilst Simba was gallivanting in the elephant graveyard. I can assure you his lioness stable was second to none.

Anyhow, back to business. Here are the top five reasons why your boyfriend is out doing the do with someone other than you. I won’t harp about what you should and should’t do; I’m simply just a man with a full beard that knows a lot of men who have cheated.

1. He Thinks The Grass Is Greener

There is only one thing better than great shoes, and thats new shoes.

Unfortunately for us all, people become complacent and forget what’s important to them. Their priorities get out of sync or sometimes it can be a bad stretch in the relationship that has them contemplating, “can I do better?” The monotony and regularity gets the best of some individuals and they begin to question their significant other.

When a man’s mind starts doing the harlem shake, he does not always analyze the situation in depth. He may look at his girlfriend and think, “good times, bad times, nagging, love, stable, boring, great, valleys, peaks blah blah blah.” Whereas he may look at another woman and not know her dramas or the potential downfalls; all he may see is, “nice person, sex.” Some walk to the shoreline and walk right back. Others stick in their foot to see how warm the water is. And some jump off the cliff face butt naked into the waves.

A girlfriend is like a home cooked meal: good for you, warm, nourishing, nutritious, and consistent. But sometimes… he might just want some KFC.

2. You’re Not A Freak

If you don’t do it, somebody else will.

Look, its 2012. If your definition of a wild, kinky night is dressing up as a nurse so you can check his “blood pressure,” I’m afraid you’re stuck in the past. In college he witnessed debauchery and hedonism that was second to none, and his favorite porn star is engaging in ungodly behavior. So what makes you think he’s content with vanilla sex? Being freaky does not mean being freaky with everyone, and contrary to the incorrect beliefs of some it is not synonymous with being easy. Some women think, “if I do this or that then he’ll think I used to be slovenly.” Those are the thoughts of an immature man who is living in la-la land.

Faithful men that never cheat (Lord bless them) will still look at other women in a sexual way and their eyes will always wander; no big deal. So if a man already has these passing thoughts from time to time, why even give an extra boost for him to slip? Don’t be boring — because if he’s bored then he’s going to unbored himself.

3. You Didnt Keep Yourself Together

Familiarity breeds complacency.

Some men are very superficial. There’s a very slim chance that he initially approached you because he couldn’t wait to dissect your brain and discover what your favorite red wine was. On the contrary, he probably liked what he saw and it was your aesthetics that led him to courting.

When you met him you were prep and prim; glowing skin, perky assets, and toned limbs. Then you became content and cancelled your gym membership… glued to the sofa as you studied Grey’s Anatomy. Slowly but surely the love handles became more loving and the new girl at his work place decided to start flicking her hair in his face as she asked for the stapler.

4. Simply Put, He’s A Cheater

For every beautiful woman, there’s a guy tired of doing her.

There are some real life, hopeless men out there; some guys just have cheating in their blood. A woman can be absolutely perfect and do everything in her power to keep a happy relationship, but some men are just predisposed to share their love. The reasoning? I don’t know. Some will tell you its natural and that the vast majority of mammals (95% according to one report) have multiple partners. Others will tell you he had issues with his parents and socialization. However, I can tell you that Eric Benét continuously cheated on Halle Berry, one of the most stunning people in our solar system. She even gave him chances whilst putting him in sex rehab. The result? He did it again. Therefore is it safe to say some men are just entirely beyond repair.

I would assume that this is the easiest cheating to deal with; at least its not about you or anything you could have done. Some women decide to put their love for said man over his faults so they allocate cheat passes for him. They figure if he’s going to do it anyway then it might as well be safe and controlled. But to each his own.

5. He’s Not Your Best Friend

What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies.

Alright, the quote above was definitely googled and some of you may think I’ve turned into baby thighs… soft. Nonetheless, it is still applicable and it fits in perfectly to end my piece. This point is continuously overlooked and sometimes never even considered. A lot of people that are in relationships are not best friends with their spouse. Have you not seen the way your boyfriend hangs out with, talks about, bonds, and respects his best guy friends? If they are truly best friends would he stab them in the back or do an unthinkable act towards them? The answer is most likely, “no”.

Therefore if you were truly his best friend he would have a much harder time lying to you or breaking a special bond. He wouldn’t see it as, “cheating on his gf, he he he,” but it would be more along the lines of, “I wouldn’t even imagine disrespecting my friend like that”.

So maybe you should stop hoping for imaginary Prince Charming to jump out of the TV screen and whisk you away to a moonlit dinner or a white sanded beach, and instead grow healthy relationships with someone you care about on a different level. TC mark

image – Sourpatch

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    • Guest

      My bf was a number 4…. still wasn’t easy to deal with :/

    • Jordan

      An extremely superficial explanation for something that often has so much more behind it. Not impressed with this article at all. 

    • Emily

      so this was condescending.

    • http://twitter.com/rysimmons Ryan Simmons

      Jesus Christ! Didn’t we just go over this bullshit the other day? Am I going to have to write a “5 Reasons Humans Hate You Aliens” article in a few days?

      Sexism is bullshit.

      • Anon

        god, i love you

    • Anonymous

      was hoping this would be satire // i am disappoint

    • Fuckyou

      when did thought catalog decide to become the online nexus of boring gendered bullshit articles? isnt there already enough of this garbage online? yuck i fucking hate this website.

    • alice

      THIS MAKES ME TO WANT TO SCREAM !!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Guest

      this is unbelievably disgusting.

    • Guest

      You seem like a really cool dude & totally ok with having your girlfriend fuck other people.

    • Guest

      I find it fucking ridiculous that women are expected to be and do all of these things in order to get a man to stay faithful. I understand the reasoning behind why men cheat but this list is basically saying, “look, if you don’t do this or act this way you’re boyfriend has a reason to cheat. He can’t help it. He’s a man!”

    • http://www.facebook.com/malangjamaica Jamaica Malang

      What’s your paypal email?

    • AnnieGirl

      …. where’s the “5 reasons you shouldn’t cheat on your gf” article?

      this one is bullshit.

    • http://twitter.com/mnguyen My Nguyen

      This post is valid, relevant, timely, or valuable information to the female sex how. . .? 

    • Anonymous

      i’m going to be one of the nicer commenters here, because i realize you didn’t intend this article the way it’s being perceived. but i do agree with my peers and have to say it’s ridiculous -the hoops women have to jump through to keep a man faithful.

      while i acknowledge that men may FEEL all of these things, he doesn’t have to act upon them. the great thing about being human is that we are not slaves to our ids, we can- and should- transcend them to respect the people in our life. 

    • joyce nancy

      WTF thought catalog. This is not only insulting to women (obviously, thanks again), but quite insulting to men. He’s just a cheater? I must have missed that time when “cheater” became a viable personality trait.

    • Poop123

      fuck you

    • Nedahomsi

      wow. of course! Boyfriends cheat not because they are scumbags, but because I am not kinky enough/toned enough/not trying hard enough to be is best friend. THANKS FOR ILLUMINATING THAT FOR US, you’ve just put it all in perspective. Our fault, not theirs.

    • Guest

      You seem to have a very superficial outlook on relationships….

      Maybe it would have been better to stick with the witty version of an article like this. 

      • ANG

         Agree with the first statement

        Don’t think there exists a “witty” way to really explain why a boyfriend would ever cheat on someone, all reasons are complete shit

        • GNA

          How so?

    • JOSH

      #Real

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=590500388 Joffré Leroux

      This is really gross.

    • AnonyMouse

      Trash.

    • Polly Ester

      i was more than ready to lambast this for all the horribly formulaic paranoia-inducing reasons why men cheat (women cheat for the same reasons , usually just tends to be during long, stale marriages) but then your last number made up for it, it’s totally right. If you want an honestly healthy relationship, treat each other as friends who love each other, do the whole package and then some.
       A lot of these reasons seem to fall back on self-reflection and bigger-picture kind of stuff. Grass-is-greener shit is immature, letting yourself go doesn’t do yourself any favours even without a partner, you should have a balanced sexual curiosity anyway – but it’s never up to one party to instigate it, and it’s never the woman’s job.

      fucking communicate better people!

      • http://twitter.com/rysimmons Ryan Simmons

        Wrong. This article should have just been “Men cheat on women because it is the woman’s fault,” and saved us all a lot of fucking trouble.

        This comment is bad and you should feel bad.

        • http://www.facebook.com/roydriskill Roy Driskill

          Sorry you can’t read between the lines and instead decide to take what the author said as fact about every man, regardless that he never said all men are like that.

        • http://twitter.com/rysimmons Ryan Simmons

          Bullshit. If he wasn’t talking about “all men” he should specify!

          “5 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend, Mike, Is Cheating On You, Stephanie, Specifically, And Not All Boyfriends”

        • http://thefirstchurchofmutterhals.blogspot.com/ mutterhals

          Not to get all embroiled in this, but making a comment on the internet is not something one should feel bad about.

        • Polly Ester

          I don’t think you really got my comment there Ryan, it was pretty nuanced, pretty balanced, generally a little pretty. But your synthesising skills seem pretty sharp with that sum-up of yours, so i’ll let you have it.

    • Bee

      Ya know what, whether we like it or not, this really is what men do.  I don’t think he’s blaming women necessarily, he’s just telling it like it is.  I see men cheat all the time – we all do – and he’s really just showing us insider of their brains.  I don’t see why everyone is shooting the messenger.  I find the act of cheating as reprehensible as anyone else, I think there’s no excuse for it, but that doesn’t stop a man from doing it, for probably 1 of the above reasons.  

      • Bee

         Dammit, *inside

      • Fuckyou

         hey ignorant dumbass plenty of men don’t cheat and proscribing generalizations concerning 3.5 billion humans is SO STUPID and this article and your comment are both SO BORING AND STUPID omg i cannot believe people like you still exist.

        • http://www.facebook.com/roydriskill Roy Driskill

           Holy shit it’s you again and you brought a huge run on sentence with you!

          I am also a man.  I do not cheat.  The author of this piece is right.  There are assholes, the cheat for THESE VERY REASONS, then people like you think the author is attacking you.

          He’s not attacking you unless you cheat on your girlfriend.  But first, you’d need a girlfriend.

        • Fuckyou

          haha cause use gay guys are really jonesing for a GF. ignorant heternormative turd.

        • http://www.facebook.com/roydriskill Roy Driskill

           Holy shit please work on sentence structure.

          Seriously.

    • Bee

      worst thought catalog article. ever.

      • http://twitter.com/mnguyen My Nguyen

        Maybe not the worst, but I agree with you. I’m failing to see how anything being said in this piece hasn’t already been said countless times before. I really enjoy and respect this site, but it’s a rather lazy post on its part. These reasons are truly “by the book” items that you can read just about anywhere else. None of these are really enlightening or revelations that haven’t been already been embedded into our minds from some other superficial source. We can all do better. 

    • Sucks to hear

      I don’t think he’s qualifying these reasons for cheating – these are observations as to what he seen. I’ve seen and heard all of these before too. They aren’t good reasons to cheat really, but these types of complaints/thoughts come up  often with men.

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