Maybe you’re still healing and trying to make sense of it all. These things take time, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s hard to put yourself back together and fully move on after you have invested so much of yourself in someone else. Life no longer seems the same without their presence in it– I get it. It’s the little things that mean the most, like the good morning texts, having someone to talk to your day about, both the good and bad things, and someone to fall asleep next to at night. Those little things hurt the most.
But if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s your ability to love again when you’re ready. This time you’ll be smarter though.
Dating and being in love with someone are two very different things. We date to see if we are compatible with someone else, to see if a spark is there, and call me old school, but to see if one day we could potentially fall in love with them. To me, dating is the process of opening yourself up to someone else, and being vulnerable enough to one day let them know all of your secrets, your weird quirks, and your dreams, no matter how weird or crazy they may be. You date someone to see if there’s potential to love and commit yourself fully to someone else.
The act of loving someone is equally as beautiful and exciting as it is scary. Loving someone is when you finally reach a complete state of transparency. Once you find someone to share your thoughts, fears, and experiences with, home no longer has to refer to a place, but rather a person instead. It’s vulnerability in its purest form.
Letting someone get the chance to know you so deeply takes courage and strength, mainly because you know that by doing so, you’re giving someone else the ability to completely break your heart one day, should they decide to, but at the same time trusting them not to.
“I love you” means so many things in three small words. It means that you care about the wellbeing of someone, and that you’re willing to put in the effort to fix things, not walk away from them. It means you can picture a future with them. We’re living in an era where leaving is not only easy, but completely acceptable. We’re constantly living life with one foot out the door, and that’s a problem.
We say “I love you” much easier than saying the things it represents. It’s much more difficult for us to admit that we are scared to live without someone that we love.
The best piece of advice I can offer to someone, (and to myself for future relationships) is to only allow yourself to fall in love with someone who is capable of being afraid to lose you. Hearing “I want to make this work” or “my life is so much better because you’re in it” can sometimes even mean more than “I love you” does. You deserve to be with someone who says those types of things to you.
Next time, date someone who puts up a fight to keep you, not someone who gives up when things get rough, as they sometimes will.
After all, love is an investment, and the most personal kind you could possibly offer to someone else. Why would you want to offer something so precious to someone who has no problem picturing their life without you?