The Inner Monologue Of Going For A Run

If there’s one thing all runners love to talk about, it’s running. More specifically, their running: mileage, speed, routes, and especially the plentiful benefits of the activity. I should know, as I run cross-country and never stop talking about all that crap. I mean can you blame us runners, chugging our disintegrating bodies along for far too long and trying really hard not to twist the other knee? What a lot of us seem to use as a defense mechanism to the endless queries into why we would willingly put our bodies through the pain of running is that “running helps us sort out our thoughts.” Have I said this? Guilty. Do I think that it’s mostly bullshit? Guilty again.

Yesterday, I went on a run and decided to log my thoughts both during and after my run to really see what types of thoughts cross my mind while I’m out on a run. I ran 4 miles, while simultaneously remembering anything I thought about during the distance.


YES! I LOVE TO RUN!

THIS SONG IS MY JAAAAAM!

Wow, this is really hard.

Alright, onto the trail. Let’s do it.

Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. In….

I really don’t like this song.

Do I not like it enough to change it?

The Runkeeper lady just told me I’m at 1 mile.

I am KICKING ASS on this run.

That Runkeeper lady is so pleasant sounding.

I wonder if she’s actually nice in real life.

Woo, I finally got my stride. Smooth sailing from here on out!

OMG was that a bird?

My arms hurt.

I hate running.

Just passed some slow girl. Yesss, I am faster!

Did my keys just fall out of my pocket?

Nope. I’m good. Phew.

My teeth are crooked.

This mile seems to be taking a really long time….

Ugh, that Runkeeper lady is such a bitch.

I know my mile time is slower than last. I don’t need the reminder.

Did I have homework due today?

Wait… DID I???????

Ugh, I’m tired.

I’ve been listening to the same song for 20 minutes.

Whatever, it’s good.

IIIIIIII’VE BECOME SO NUMB, I CAN’T FEEL YOU THERE.

Linkin Park is so good. Why aren’t they popular anymore?

I’m sweating profusely.

I should really start saving more money.

Maybe I should get another bank account.

How old do I have to be for a 401K?

SHIN SPLINTS.

I wish I were in my bed.

Okay, but why do my arms hurt so much?

My shoulders are killing me.

I wish I could eat a steak for dinner.

I’m so hungry.

I’ll ask someone to go out to dinner with me tonight.

I don’t think Eddie Murphy is funny.

Do other people think he is?

Everything hurts.

I should have stretched more.

Only .4 miles to go.

I CAN DO THIS!

I’m gonna make a fruit salad for a snack after this.

That girl is so lucky her boyfriend runs with her.

I want a boyfriend.

Do I?

I’m so over this run.

I’m really thirsty.

There’s my house.

I SEE MY HOUSE!

DONE!!!

Personal best on Runkeeper!

Thanks, Runkeeper lady.

I’m a great runner.

Okay, collapsing.

Do I have my keys?????????

Okay, yes I do.

I’m gonna nap.

First, I should make that fruit salad.

Eh, I’ll just eat this pizza. TC mark

featured image – Lookcatalog

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