There’s the kind you’ll have for the first time. A revirginizing experience that both terrifies and excites you. It will be laced with what you’ve always imagined and filled with what you couldn’t have possibly foreseen. It will be the beginning of a one-person voyage in which another human being is discovered.
There’s the kind you have every day. Light and whimsical and as well-known as your favorite childhood fairytale. You quickly leave a piece of you with them, for you know they’ll blow it back to you when you see them again.
There’s the kind you didn’t see coming. It will leave you paralyzed as if every muscle in your body was controlled by your mouth alone. Your top lip quivers, activating a shut-down sequence your brain is powerless to stop. As their taste tattoos one single lasting memory you slowly close your eyes, able to only focus on what has just left you.
There’s the kind you know you’ll never have again. Your top lip shouts good as your bottom lip whispers bye. Your stomach sinks as they tear apart the plans you once cherished with every movement of their mouth. As your tongues touch, you can feel them placing you in a box and gently storing you away.
There’s the kind that’ll leave you wanting. A tactfully tantalizing tickle that awakens every desirous fiber you’ve buried skin deep. Neurons fire and a sexual slumber ends and you feel yourself slipping into the never-ending world of addiction.
There’s the kind you didn’t ask for. Whether it be despite fervent pleas, or in lieu of them, violent spit will spill into your clenched mouth and aching jaw. Chapped lips part to scream beg pray cry, despite the damage already being done. As they bleed for mercy you feel a portion of your soul slither from your mouth into theirs. Gone. Forever.
There’s the kind you’ll regret. You applied their alluring gills like lipstick only to quickly lick them off. The color didn’t fit. The application was all wrong. The pairing just wasn’t you. You’ll press your lips together and hope to rub them dry.
There’s the kind you only have every once in a while. Distance has stained your lips with a need for their luscious counterpart. You’ll lightly touch your mouth from time to time in an attempt to remember what they felt like. You’ll smile when you succeed.
There’s the kind that heals. Whether it rebuilds a relationship or silences a wound or reinforces an unwavering support, it adds brick after brick to your fortitude. As flesh sinks into flesh you can feel a rejuvenating surge of togetherness piece together what was once a hundred little pieces.
And then there’s the kind you know you’ll never have. It’s the foundation of every daydream you’ve pushed aside. As it staples itself to the backbone of your longing it leaves a vibrating sting of want. A constant reminder of what could be.