At 1:34 AM I Decided I Am Moving On

woman wrapped in christmas lights
Andrew Dong

01:34 AM

Here I lay in my bed, bundled up in my tear stained blankets and pillows that echo my sorrow-stricken cries. No matter how hard I tried; rivers continued to flow out of me. Everything hurt and no matter where I ran off to in my mind I somehow always managed to find myself right where I started- with you. I tried to focus on non-existing flaws telling myself that it’s best that you’re gone. But now I share the truth; despite the heartbreak, you remain infinitely perfect to me. When my heart shattered and my light crumpled in the dark your beauty didn’t morph into dark ugliness. I wanted so hard to forget- because remembering was my pain but now I know what has to be done. I need to remember; I need to remember the way you used to bite your lip, the way you got shy after laughing, the way your eyes never looked away from me, the way your hands felt in mine, the way biting my ear made my heart pound louder than waves crashing into the rocks, the way that every word that rolled off your tongue created every inch of my skin to form a layer of tension, the way your lips curled up into a smile, the way that you made me feel like gravity wasn’t holding me to this world but instead it was your arms, the way you made me feel complete and the way that you made me feel the happiest I have ever been. I now accept all that you were to me and all that you are and set you free. I am unable to have you in my life, but you will never leave my heart and now I shall let you remain in my memories. TC mark

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