21 Thoughts You Have Daily If You’re A Functional Hot Mess
A certain level of mess feels clean and right for some people. I am one of those people who thrives in a state of perpetual “not yet” and “working on it.” It is a state racked with anxiety. It is is a state that dwells juuuuuust on the cusp of the darkness that is telling people you’re “not in a good place;” being a certain kind of functional hot mess means that your friends still count on you to always be there when they call, but not to always be on time. Ja Rule gets it. There are probably upwards of 137,000 questions you ask yourself when you don’t have it together, but 21 questions feels clean and right to me. Here are 21 thoughts every functional hot mess has—especially on Sundays, when they plan (and probably fail) to do literally every half-done thing they’ve ever put off doing.
1. “I need to get my shit together.”
2. “This is the week I get my shit together.”
3. “I need to text ____ back.”
4. “I’ll text them back…later.”
5. “When’s the last time I checked my mailbox? I never get mail but, I mean. There might be something important.”
6. “Oh cool, six weeks of coupons.”
7. “Are my favorite pants clean? I guess I’m not wearing pants today. I have to put on pants to leave the house, right? I guess I am wearing dirty pants today.”
8. “I should do laundry.”
9. “How am I STARVING? Oh shit. Have I eaten today?”
10. “I need to buy groceries.”
11. “I’ll just buy lunch, just today. As a treat. Tomorrow I’ll buy groceries.”
12. “Where are my keys?”
13. “How is it 3:00 PM already?”
14. “Okay I am going to just make that call, it should take like five seconds. Just going to get it over with—”
15. “How is it 6:00 PM already?”
16. “I need to answer that email.”
17. “A NEW EPISODE OF _____ ALREADY?!”
18. “Okay, I need to stop watching. I’m just gonna—”
19. “Fuck, I am never going to make anything as good as _______.”
20. “How is it 2:00 AM already?”
21. “I need to go to bed. Right after I—” 
