1. A broken nose
My girlfriend’s crooked nose is the reason I love her face, is that weird?
2. An ‘imperfect’ smile
For me, a gap between two front teeth is like…it’s over at that point, a cute girl with a little gap is 700x cuter, it’s unfair. Should be illegal.
3. Stretch marks
Girls get really weird about lines and stretch marks and stuff, my ex put makeup on them, but dudes have those too? You get them from gaining weight or muscles even, it’s actually a turn on for me to see that she hasn’t looked the same forever, in a weird way. I think scars and marks are interesting. Tattoos too, same thing for me.
4. A little ‘flab’
I don’t think a pauch or love handles or a muffin top or— whatever you wanna call it— is gross or disgusting. I think it’s almost tired to say at this point, but I’m most attracted to women who have softer spots, fat, curves, whatever you wanna call it.
5. Thighs that touch
Thigh gaps are an Internet thing, in real life I don’t want to see your legs separated in an unnatural way..I like skinny girls too, but if your thighs touch, I’m into touching them even more probably.
6. Body hair
Isn’t that like saying I need to shave everything or have my facial hair a certain way? I don’t know. I don’t mind body hair, sometimes I like it. It depends. It can be a huge turn on, it’s a womanly thing. I like old 70’s issues of Playboy, man.
7. An imperfect chest
‘Coke can nipples,’ I’ve heard that before and I don’t get a straight dude who doesn’t just love all boobs and nipples. Your nipples are great. All of them, always. Please show them off, right?
8. A weird vagina
We love vaginas. The end. A weird vagina, for me, is like any other. They’re all weird to me…they create life, like— I actually like vaginas that aren’t hairless or surgically porn-y, if you really want me to think about it. Guys love vaginas, the end.
9. Being sweaty
My ex was weird about this too! I get being clean and everything, but it’s actually really hot when a girl is dirty or gross post-sex or working out and will just kiss you. It’s natural, stop wiping it away and apologizing.
10. Having long or perfect hair
Short hair is cute as hell. Gets me all the time, too much.
11. Wearing ‘natural’ makeup at all times
Nothing more attractive than no makeup. Morning face is a good look.
12. Being too opinionated
By all means, argue with me. I straight up fall in love with the girls who make me feel like I lost or that I’m an idiot. Is that bad? Am I asking for trouble?
13. Not being ‘nice’ enough
Mean girls (with nice butts? idk sue me) will be the death of me.