Finals week means that you’ll be working hard on a number of things. You’ll be studying, writing, completing projects, drinking to numb the pain, and—perhaps most importantly— writing completely obvious bullshit excuse emails. Here are a few tributes to some of the greats.
1. The broken file
2. The unspecified extenuating circumstances
3. The subtle “so what’s my grade and exactly how much can I coast on this final?
4. The unexplained power outage
5. The TMI ‘food poisoning’
6. The ‘throw ‘em under the bus’ like it’s nothing
7. The new religion
8. The petty crime that left you with nothing
9. The death in the family
10. The not-an-excuse 2AM panic attack mental break extravaganza!