8. We have soft, gooey centers under the hard exteriors
We’re like rude Entenmann’s cookies. We’re only this sarcastic because we have mad layers of depth and feelings. For every mean thing we joke about, we have five more nice things to say about you.
9. If I’m ignoring you in a big group, it means I like you, yes you, the one I’m not talking to
Don’t get used to the loads of attention we pay you when we’re alone. We’re not really about PDA or making you feel like royalty when there are a bunch of people around. We’ll never be the ball and chain, and the more we ignore you, the more we can make eyes at you and mouth “I hate you,” which is basically a sign of head-over-heels, stupid crazy affection.
10. I hate you = I love you
Always. Always. Always.