1. They text you just to say good morning, good night, and ask how your day was, even if you already posted about it on social media.
“Best part of your day?”
2. They let you fall asleep on them, but they never move you.
You wake up and apologize and they’re all, “no, shhhh, you’re fine.”
3. They don’t talk about their sex or love life a lot and they get weird when you point it out.
And then say something dismissive like, “what? It’s just not important. You’d think it was boring anyway.”
4. They ask pointed questions about your love life.
They will discuss the nuances of what a text message meant for an hour, just to understand your likes, dislikes, and whether or not they have a chance.
5. They tell you that you’re the “-est” of every good adjective.
The best, the nicest, the friendliest, the sweetest, the cutest…you get the idea.
6. They remember important upcoming events, ask about them, and know how you’re going to react to different outcomes.
No one else seems to give a shit about that meeting you had on Monday, much less how you thought that thing your boss said was a backhanded compliment. They want to hear all about it, and you forgot you even told them.
7. They point out their subtweets before you can notice them and pass them off as big jokes.
LOL just tweeting Drake lyrics, listening to Take Care. This album is the best even though it makes me want to cry into a glass of wine. LOL. Right? Laughing about it. Definitely laughing.
8. They make up excuses to help you out.
“You need help building IKEA furniture? Yeah, I can help. No, I’m not busy. It’s my Mom’s birthday but…we’re celebrating tomorrow. Plus I’ve built soooo much IKEA furniture. Yeah. The whole…Malm bedroom set.”
9. They’re actually super supportive of all your relationships. Too supportive.
You complain about your significant other and they remind you how cool they think that person is, even though everyone else is like, “yeah, dump that piece of shit.”
10. They do things for you that your significant other would do.
Pick you up from the airport, take care of you when you’re sick, help you cook and clean, and listen to you talk about boring things for what seems like forever.
11. They remember weird quirks you have and point them out.
This person knows that you always text in your car for five minutes after you park, or that you drink your milk with ice in it, and they point them out so that they’re almost like an inside joke.
12. They share a Netflix account with you.
They watch all the same good shows as you, and even compliment the terrible ones you know are terrible, like “Mixology.”
13. They answer your complaints with things like, “nah, you’re perfect.”
“I mean, you’re fine. It’s fine, is what I mean.”
14. They preface every major compliment with, “I mean, you’re one of my closest friends…”
Juuuuust to keep that safe distance between you two, like middle schoolers slow dancing at the winter formal.
15. They’re always there when you call, and they’re always on time.
They’re not full on Ja Rule ft. Ashanti, or Ashanti ft. Ja Rule, but they’re somewhere in between. Secretly, of course. Like Biz Markie.