Thought Catalog

To The Person Who Is Being Taken For Granted In A Relationship

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Ryan Holloway

You have a choice. You always have choice.

You don’t have to stay.

You can’t be making a concerted effort in your relationship, while your partner goes through the motions. It’s crazy to give someone your heart, and in return get treated like crap.

Think about it: You’re always going out of your way to run errands for them, you’re always getting things done for the house, you’re always present (and involved) at their events. But whenever you ask them to do something … something very simple… they’re usually reluctant…. Or worse – BUSY.

On  those rare occasions when they decide to do you a favour, they inevitably find something to whine about and then sulk while doing it – which makes you regret asking them in the first place. When you invite them somewhere, they show up and stay on their phone the entire time. Their demeanour makes it very clear that they’d rather be somewhere else.

The truth is: you’ve been dating them for a while, and they love that you’re dependable, considerate and understanding. Heck, you’re probably good for their image. They like all these things about you, so they’ll do the bare minimum to keep you around.

So, when you get frustrated to the point where you complain about something… they’ll initially get defensive and things will escalate into an argument. But they understand how important it is to keep you around, so they’ll retreat and make a small compromise. If you complained about ‘Not going on a date in months’ … they’ll go on a date to keep you quiet. Then – watch and see – you won’t go on another date until you have another argument about it.

To them, you’re an asset; for you, they’re a liability.

For some inexplicable reason, you don’t want to let them go. So, in response, you just ignore their behavior and do things yourself. Some of you will even brainwash yourself into thinking you’re independent – but if you really think about it – that’s not how independent people operate. They don’t hang on to people who don’t feel the same way about them.

Relationships are never perfect but at the very least, you should demand (and expect) certain things. Relationships are meant to be mutually beneficial, that’s the point. So, if your partner constantly falls short in certain departments, if they are nonchalant about important things, if they fail to make you a priority…then it’s simple – you’re not worth it to them. And you should take the hint before it’s too late. Because before you know it, you’ll be hitched and committed to a lifetime of frustration.

Yeah, yeah – I get it. I know you have a lot invested in the relationship. And I know it’s difficult to move on, but if someone is taking you for granted, you’re better off being single. They’re not going to change their ways.

So, don’t let anyone take advantage of you – you’re bigger than that. Respect yourself.

And remember: You have a choice. You always have a choice.

You don’t have to stay. TC mark

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