1. The unprompted telling of stories about accomplishments made back in high school — whether they’re about making honor roll or throwing touchdown passes, are no longer relevant. Nobody (other than the person/people involved in the stories) cares.
2. Your level of uncertainty in what the heck you’re doing with life might be as low, if not lower than it was in high school. Don’t anticipate miraculously figuring it all out. A lot of older people have informed me that there isn’t going to be some big aha moment where everything suddenly clicks, but after years of life experience there’s certainly a better idea of what one wants to do with their time, and how to go about doing it.
3. I know it’s fun to do the “ugh, kids these days” routine, but in reality current teens aren’t any more obnoxious than we at that age. Just because they have access to more social media platforms to share their irritating ways with the world than we did doesn’t mean they’re remarkably more insufferable.
4. Speaking poorly of and wishing bad on former peers who are currently doing well in life won’t make them any less happy or prosperous. Maybe try using that time and energy to invest in yourself and accomplish your personal goals.
5. Those awkward “What’ve you been up to?” conversations with acquaintances you haven’t seen in years are always going to be uncomfortable. The good news is that you can go out to bars or clubs and not run into people from high school that you don’t want to see, because they’re all at home or at chain restaurants. The bad news is that if you go to a grocery store on a weekday before 8pm, you’ll definitely see an acquaintance.
6. If you’re not certain about what you want to do with your life, don’t hysterically bang on the panic button. You’ll figure it out when the time is right, and here’s a list of incredibly successful people who didn’t make it big until after 30.
7. You need to be fully retired from high school parties. This should go without saying, but you’d be surprised how many people didn’t get the memo on the numerous reasons why they have no business attending teenage ragers as a grown up. Even if the seniors think you’re cool – especially if high school seniors think you’re cool, go home, or to a place with adults, and reassess your life choices.
8. You’re young enough to make inexperienced mistakes, old enough to maturely own said mistakes, and capable enough to overcome them.
9. It seems like everyone is constantly busy and when they’re finally free, you’re busy. Career, wife, husband, kid(s), there are a lot of things occupying the majority of people’s time. The bright side is that anything less than a legitimate friendship is weeded out. The friends from high school you still have right now, whether you see them every single day or only once every few months, are the ones with the potential to last for life.
10. The average divorce age is 30. If you’re still single or dating someone, don’t get married and make babies solely because you feel pressed for time being in the latter half of your 20s, unless you want a higher probability of being part of an unfortunate statistic.
11. Choosing whether or not to attend your rapidly approaching 10-year reunion should be a game time decision. It’ll probably be incredibly anti-climatic, and the only faces you’ll be surprised to see are the three people from your graduating class who don’t have Facebook. Don’t blow your reunion’s importance out of proportion right now, decide to go or pass when the actual event is close to happening.
12. If you’re wasting your time doing the same shenanigans you were doing in the mid-2000s, consider that the people who wrote, “Don’t ever change” in your yearbook didn’t mean it literally.
13. This – this is what you need to hear. All of these popular 2000s songs that were definitely played at your school dances.
14. It’s certainly not too late to do any of the things you wanted to do at any other point in life. Don’t put an expiration date on your efforts to do particular things. Whether you want to travel or become a doctor, you can’t quit on fulfilling these dreams… Unless your dream is to be your high school’s star athlete, or make the Forbes Top 20 under 20 list, in which case you need to stop having the goals of a 15-year-old.
15. Don’t answer the mysterious numbers constantly calling your phone. It’s… them, and they want their school loan money back.
16. No more social media arguing with anyone from high school. Seriously, the cutoff for that being an even remotely understandable thing was 10+ years ago, when everyone was beefing over being left out of Top-8s on MySpace. If you’re a fully grown adult trading barbs and taking shots while the masses are entertained, but secondhand embarrassed for your cringe worthy online version of Jerry Springer, delete all of your profiles and don’t comeback until your mature enough to behave like you’re not a petty teenager at heart.
17. 25-31 years old is your prime, folks. Revel in the glory of right now.