“I’m not mad, I promise.”
I’m quiet because I’m thinking, which is also probably causing me to have an unapproachable, hostile facial expression, but rest assured I am in a perfectly fine mood.
“No, seriously I’m not mad.”
I wasn’t even remotely mad, but since you’ve continued to press me, pointing out how quiet I am and asking what’s wrong for 30 minutes, I’ve grown slightly irritated.
“Who all is going?”
Will I know every individual in attendance or do I have to mentally prepare myself to engage in conversation with people I’ve never met?
“Of course you can stay the night!”
This. This is why I don’t invite people over. Now I won’t be alone for the next 8 hours or so, meaning I’ll have to be an accommodating, zero-privacy-having, fully accessible host… God forbid you wake up in the morning and try to spend the day hanging out, because that would actually be traumatic.
“I have stuff to do.”
I have alone time to spend, with no particular activity in mind, but since most consider that a clear schedule, I’ll vaguely describe my task list as “stuff.”
(Sarcastically, after not being invited somewhere) “Thanks for the invite.”
I know I decline my fair share of invitations, but having my presence requested is still meaningful and appreciated.
“I love Facebook/Twitter/Instagram!”
Being outgoing on social media is significantly more convenient than it is in real life. Small talk to fill any voids of silence isn’t necessary, and conversations can be ended smoothly, without an awkward handshake, hug, or goodbye.
(When getting seated at a restaurant.) “Table for one… Yep, it’s just me.”
Please don’t be so shocked or sympathetic as you seat me, hostess person. I’m not eating alone because I’m sad or don’t have options.
“The more, the merrier!”
I am lying to fit everyone else’s outlook, because my motto, “the less the livelier” isn’t as widely known or embraced.
“I’m tired. Not sleepy, just tired.”
I’m socially exhausted and need to rest and replenish my batteries using the charger that is peace and quiet.
“I’ll drive separately.”
I don’t want to be a liability and I’d prefer having the freedom to leave without being obligated to wait until whoever brought me is ready to go home.
“No, it’s fine, I’ll eat/drink it.”
I was given the wrong order but I don’t want to send it back so I’ll convince myself and those who suggest I speak up that I want to consume this meal or beverage, even though I’m really just avoiding even the slightest bit of confrontation.
(At a party) “I’m going to run to the bathroom.”
I need a few moments of quiet refuge, so I’m going to stand in the bathroom, take some deep breaths, and carefully concoct an exit strategy that can be executed in 30 minutes or less.